


Exercise in folly 2.0

by SamWhity



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2019-10-08 12:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamWhity/pseuds/SamWhity
Summary: Monét looked at her with disbelief, before sighing: “Giovanni never saw the damn video. He dodged the whole thing like a pro because he was trying to be your friend”.“He's my friend”.Cracker's answer came without any hesitation, so natural and passionate that the other queen smiled softly.“Cracks...”





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> I once wrote about an idea I was toying with (you can read it here: http://artificialqueens.tumblr.com/post/174745831847/exercise-in-folly-craquaria-samwhity ). This is the updated hopefully bettered version, with a different timeline, more drama and hopefully some cuteness along the way. Enjoy!

Miz Cracker was setting the last coat of lipstick while singing a Christmas Carol.   
“Just to set the mood”, she smiled apologetically at Farrah, before taking a small sip of her energy drink.  
In that exact moment, Monét stormed inside carrying her phone and a can of soda.  
“Girl...”, she mumbled, before taking a sip of her drink and sitting next to her.  
Cracker set the lipstick tube down, before turning to face her friend with a quizzical look.  
“What happened?”, she asked before sneering: “Bad trade session?”.  
The other queen scoffed, before leaning in and starting whispering: “You remember your reaction video? The one of you and Kat?”, she paused for a second, before adding: “An interviewer showed it to Aqua. It is all over youtube”.  
The Jew queen sighed.  
“Listen, it was months ago and Giovanni knew it...”, she murmured, “It was not my proudest moment but it happened and we talked about it”.  
Monét looked at her with disbelief, before sighing: “He never saw the damn video. He dodged the whole thing like a pro because he was trying to be your friend”.  
“He's my friend”.  
The answer came without any hesitation, so natural and passionate that the other queen smiled softly.  
“Cracks...”, she started, before brushing it off: “You know what? You're both adults. You will survive this”.  
Miz Cracker sighed.  
“Show me the video”.  
They quickly found a recording of the incriminated interview, whose title was “Aquaria sees Cracker's reaction for the first time live”. The segment started with the host asking: “What did you think about it, that night?”. The cameraman cut to Aquaria, sitting on a stool and looking like she wanted to run away and never come back. The young queen sighed, before smoothing the blazer she was currently wearing and closing her eyes for a quick second.  
“Wait for it”, Monét murmured.  
“I never saw it”, Aquaria answered, “I did not want to give in to negative thoughts and our... my friendship with Miz Cracker is something I... it's important and I do not want to...”, she sighed, before continuing: “There is no reason for me to doubt our friendship and a silly fan video won't make me change my mind”.  
The video finished with a zoom of the queen's face and his scared expression made Monét sigh.  
“I called Giovanni after seeing it”, she began to explain, “But he didn't pick up the damn phone. And now that there's no Jordan I do not know how to reach him”.  
Cracker sighed, before reaching for her phone.   
**Miz Cracker, 7:34 pm:** Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. Are you okay?  
The other queen read the message and scoffed: “Way to go, Cracks”.  
In that exact moment, Kathelyn entered the room with a mug full of coffee and a straw.  
She took a good look at the other two, before sighing loudly and asking: “Okay, what did you do this time?”.

 

In yet another city, Aquaria was getting ready for her show while listening to Artpop.  
Getting in drag without Jordan was a new thing for her but she tried to chase the loneliness with music and Red Bull.  
Her phone vibrated, making her jump.  
 **Nicola, 7:32 pm:** Hey stranger! I was scrolling through my photos and your kimono look popped up... we should do it again soon! Have a blast tonight!  
 **Miz Cracker, 7:34 pm:** Hey, haven't heard from you in a while. Are you okay?  
The queen sighed, before answering the first message.  
 **Giovanni, 7:35 pm:** Hey Mister! Yeah, we should totally do it again! You know I love working with you! What are you up to tonight? Miss you! Xoxo  
He set the phone down, proceeding to carefully glue her blonde wig and looking for her trench coat. The second message was left on read.

  
The show had been a blast. The crowd loved the Birdbox number and Aquaria actually managed to put aside her emotional turmoil, even if it was just for a handful of hours.

_That morning she had to sit through an awkward interview that ended with the infamous video of Cracker and Kathelyn reacting to her winning. The host was clearly fishing for drama, unaware of the delicate friendship the two queens tried to establish after the filming of Drag Race. She tried to be as concise and diplomatic as she could possibly be, but her speech was cut short by a growing pain in her stomach. She managed to finish the interview, before exiting the room and smiling her way out of the building altogether. She waited for her uber in the lobby, still in full drag and eager to go back to her hotel. Not knowing what to do, she quickly typed a message.  
_ _ **Aquaria, 11:37 am:** Hey, do you have a minute?   
__**Kameron Michaels, 11:38 am:** What's up?  
_ _ **Aquaria, 11:38 am:** I think I could use a piece of advise..  
_ _ **Aquaria, 11:39 am:** I just saw something I did not want to see and do not know how to react. And it will be public in a couple of hours... what would you do?  
_ _ **Kameron Michaels, 11:40 am:** What are you talking about?  
_ _Seeing that her ride was approaching, the queen exited the building and, once spotted the car, she climbed in the back seat with a polite smile and a nod to the driver.  
_ _Her phone vibrated again.  
_ _ **Kameron Michaels, 11:42 am:** Are you okay?  
_ _ **Aquaria, 11:42 am:** Yeah, sorry. I actually gotta go. Work and whatnot. Talk to you soon.  
_ _The driver, clearly unaware of her inner turmoil, tried to engage in some conversation.  
_ “ _Nice weather today, mh?”.  
_ _The young queen did not bother with any kind of reply, snuggling against her seat and closing her eyes with a sigh._

 

After the show and the “Meet and Greet”, Aquaria made her way to the hotel. She was slightly tipsy but all too sober to fall asleep immediately. She took her time to remove her make-up, before stepping into the bathroom and deciding she might as well take a bath to ease the tension. The vibration of her phone made her flinch.  
“Damn it”, she murmured, before taking a look at her screen and sighing at the amount of messages that were waiting for her.  
 **Nicola, 11:27 pm:** Then it's a date, kid. I'll hopefully see you soon.  
 **Kameron Michaels, 11:47 pm:** How come my fans knew about the video before I did? Why didn't you call?  
 **Kameron Michaels, 11:48 pm:** Now I understand your message! Bitch, you could have told me!  
 **Kameron Michaels, 11:53 pm:** Saw the video. Are you okay?  
 **Kameron Michaels, 11:54 pm:** I won't pester you. But I'm here whenever you want to talk about it, okay Aqua?  
 **Monét X-Change, 00:05 am:** I know your ass ain't asleep, bitch. Answer the damn phone.  
 **Monét X-Change, 00:06 am:** For real, Aqua. At least tell me you're okay.  
 **Nicola, 00:07 am:** I saw the interview. Are you okay, kid? Do you want to talk about it?  
She started typing a message for Kameron, hoping to sound at least somewhat reasonable.  
 **Aquaria, 00:07 am:** Thanks. I will reach, promise. Love you lots, Miss Kameron!  
She then proceeded to reply to Monét, hoping it would calm the other queen down.  
 **Aquaria, 00:08 am:** I am fine, just busy. Hope you're having fun on tour! Let's catch up soon xoxo  
After having read Nicola's message once again, the young queen sighed and started typing.  
 **Giovanni, 00:10 am:** I don't know. I never wanted to see that video because I knew it would have hurt. I knew I would have doubted our friendship and blamed myself once more. And I was kinda cornered to watch it and I did not know what to do. And now it is all over the internet and I do not need that right now. I need to focus on my job, my career and so on, not on old petty bullshit.  
She finally set the phone down and decided to skip the bath and go directly to bed.  
Cracker's message was, once again, left on read.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2.1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maxwell tries again and receives an unexpected answer. Giovanni sulks and Kevin and Nicola are the best friends we all should wish for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though Aquaria and Jordan Stawecki seem to be friendly with eachother again, I decided to have them still un-reconciled for the time being. Everything you will read about this moment in time and the so-called drama should be furthermore considered purely fictional and nothing that is portrayed here has any legitimacy.

 

 _You keep me up at night_  
_To my messages, you do not reply_  
 _You know I still like you the most_  
 _The best of the best and the worst of the worst_  
 _Well, you can never know_  
 _The places that I go_  
 _I still like you the most_  
 _You'll always be my favorite ghost_

_([ **Florence + The Machine, Big God**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kIrRooQwuk))_

 

Even though he deeply enjoyed touring with others queens, Maxwell Heller couldn't help himself from sighing contently while putting down his luggage in the entrance of his apartment.

“Home sweet home”, he mumbled with a smile, before closing the door behind him.

“Coffee?”, Kathelyn asked while making her way to the kitchen.

“Of course”, the man answered, then he picked up one suitcase and started unpacking the gifts and fanarts he received on the road.

Just as he started reading a very long letter, his phone vibrated.

 **Monét X-Change, 2:34 pm:** Got home safe?

 **Monét X-Change, 2:34 pm:** We're having dinner at mine, with Dustin and Yuhua. You coming?

 **Monét X-Change, 2:35 pm:** I'll ask Giovanni as well, but only the Lord knows what is up with that twink nowadays...

 **Monét X-Change, 2:35 pm:** You coming, right?

 **Monét X-Change, 2:36 pm:** Come on Cracks, answer already!

Maxwell chuckled, clearly amused by his friend's lack of patience, before typing a short answer.

 **Miz Cracker, 2:37 pm:** All right, all right. I'll be there.

 **Monét X-Change, 2:38 pm:** Perfect! Bring Kathelyn with you, it will be fun!

“What are you laughing at?”, his best friend asked, while handing him a mug full of steaming coffee.

“Kevin is being ridiculous as usual”, he explained, before taking a sip of the beverage and wincing in pain “Shit! That was really hot!”.

Kathelyn rolled her eyes, before going to her bedroom and starting to unpack.

“I'll see a couple of friends tonight, don't wait for me”, she said, while folding a shirt.

Maxwell nodded, then he added: “I'll be at Kevin's for dinner, don't worry”.

The scoff he received as an answer was followed by a quick: “Well now I'm worried. Don't get into any trouble, Mister”.

The look she received as an answer was enough to make her giggle.

“I love you too”, she conceded with a soft smile, then she closed the door behind her.

 **Kathelyn, 2:43 pm:** I'm serious. We don't have enough money to pay bail yet.

 **Kathelyn, 2:43 pm:** Can you imagine? Okay, Kathelyn, time for slob.

 **Kathelyn, 2:44 pm:** You have to admit that it was pretty funny.

 **Kathelyn, 2:44 pm:** Right?

 **Kathelyn, 2:44 pm:** RIGHT?!

 **Maxwell, 2:45 pm:** I was waiting for you to finish your little piece...

 **Kathelyn, 2:45 pm:** Don't be so salty... :P

 **Maxwell, 2:46 pm:** I will call in intervention, if you don't stop

 **Maxwell, 2:47 pm:** I've warned you

 **Kathelyn, 2:47 pm:** You're no fun...

After a couple of minutes, Maxwell's phone vibrated once again, making him snort.

 **Kathelyn, 2:52 pm:** You have to admit it. It's time for slob was HILARIOUS.

 

*******

 

 **Nicola, 2:43 pm:** I just received the upteenth video of “Viva Las Vegas”. Please send help.

Giovanni Palandrani, barely awake but already in a weird mood, chuckled at his phone. With a little smile on his lips, he typed an answer.

 **Giovanni, 2:44 pm:** Oh, poor you. Do you want me to send you “New York, New York”, just to switch it up a little bit?

The answer he got made him giggle stupidly.

 **Nicola, 2:45 pm:** Do not even dare, kid! Otherwise I will personally ask Gaga to strike you from her beloved list of the most loyal fans!

 **Nicola, 2:45 pm:** Where has the respect for the elders gone?

 **Nicola, 2:46 pm:** Not that I'm old.

 **Nicola, 2:46 pm:** Because I am certainly not old, understood?

Giovanni's smile grew bigger. He quickly replied, before making his way to the balcony of the hotel room.

 **Giovanni, 2:47 pm:** I would never imply you are old. I will just state that Shaquida was still going to daycare, while you were already driving one of those ugly tanks you like so much.

 **Giovanni, 2:48 pm:** To quote Bob the Drag Queen, Nicola Formichetti is so old, he would probably die the moment he decided to act his age.

He did not receive any kind of answer for a couple of minutes and the lack of response made him worry he took it too far. Why was he always taking it too far?

“Goddamn it, Giovanni”, he murmured, before typing quickly.

 **Giovanni, 2:51 pm:** It was totally inappropriate, I am so sorry! I should have just shut up.

 **Giovanni, 2:51 pm:** Sorry, I am just in a weird mood. I am so so sorry...

 **Giovanni, 2:52 pm:** I understand if you're mad now but please know I really did not mean it in a disrespectful way.

The answer he got made him snort his water and sigh with relief at the same time.

 **Nicola, 2:54 pm:** RELAX, I was just busy. I know how to roll with the punches kid... ;)

“You bastard”, he whispered, before answering.

 **Giovanni, 2:55 pm:** Busy recording yourself playing the piano? Charming... :P

 **Nicola, 2:55 pm:** Can we please go back to the apology? I liked you way better when you were sincerely apologizing...

Giovanni started laughing, before realising someone knocked at his hotel door.

“It's open”, he said.

One of the hotel's butlers was standing in front of the door, looking at him composedly, his hands hidden behind his back.

“The car will be here in less than forty minutes, sir”, he announced, before handing him a bouquet of flowers and adding: “Someone left this for you at the counter, today”.

The young man thanked him, before closing the door behind him and starting to gather his suitcases. He could do it even without Jordan, he thought to himself.

He put the bouquet on top of his carry-on, before picking the card and reading it out loud.

“ _To Aquaria. Thanks for the most amazing show I could possibly wish for. You are one of the best performers I had the pleasure to witness and I can't wait to see you again, slaying on stage. Xoxo”_

The boy smiled, before taking a picture of the sweet gift and uploading it to his Instastories with the caption “Blessed” and a smiling kitty.

In that exact moment, his phone vibrated again.

 **Monét X-Change, 3:04 pm:** We're having dinner at mine today! You're in right?

He smiled, excited at the idea of seeing Kevin, before realizing he could not possibly make it to New York on time and sighing.

 **Aquaria, 3:04 pm:** I wish! I'll be back later tonight :(

 **Aquaria, 3:05 pm:** You can feed me leftovers for brunch tomorrow, if you're free. :D

 **Monét X-Change 3:05 pm:** Lunch at mine and it's a date. ;)

 **Aquaria, 3:06 pm:** Now that took a turn...

 **Monét X-Change, 3:06 pm:** You bitch!!!

 **Monét X-Change, 3:06 pm:** You only wish...

A quick glance at his watch made him realize his ride would have arrived in a couple of minutes. He put his bags on the trolley he got from the reception and made his way to the elevator.

“You can make it, see?”, he murmured to himself, trying to avoid thinking about the whole drama around Jordan and his sudden interest in Los Angeles.

Once in the elevator, he found another text.

 **Miz Cracker, 3:12 pm:** Are you coming to Monét's?

He quickly left the message on read, before going back to the other one and trying to come up with a silly if not funny answer.

 **Aquaria, 3:12 pm:** Last time I checked, I already gave to charity. Like a ton. Maybe next year you'll be luckier ;)

“Weak”, he murmured to himself, before exiting the elevator and waiting for the car in the lobby of the hotel.

His phone vibrated again.

 **Miz Cracker, 3:14 pm:** Are you purposefully ignoring me?

 **Miz Cracker, 3:14 pm:** If you do not feel like talking it's fine, just stop leaving me on read.

 **Miz Cracker, 3:15 pm:** For real, Giovanni.

With a sigh, Giovanni locked the screen and saw the car approaching. He exited the building, put his sunglasses on and smiled at the driver, who then proceeded to load the suitcases in the trunk. He sat in the back-seat and put on his headphones, trying to come up with an answer for Cracker as well. Nothing.   
  
His phone vibrated once again.

 **Monét X-Change, 3:22 pm:** You little sly bitch...

 **Monét X-Change, 3:22 pm:** Have you talked to Cracks, btw?

 **Monét X-Change, 3:23 pm:** And don't you even dare to play dumb. You know better.

“Shit”, Giovanni murmured, before biting his lower lip and typing a couple of words.

 **Aquaria, 3:24 pm:** I don't know what to say.

 **Monét X-Change, 3:25 pm:** Kid... just tell him how you felt while watching that video.

 **Aquaria, 3:25 pm:** It's not that.

 **Aquaria, 3:25 pm:** It's a lot more than that and I do not know how to react. And fucking everything around me is crumbling...

 **Monét X-Change, 3:26 pm:** I heard about Jordan. I'm sorry, baby.

 **Aquaria, 3:26 pm:** Can we please not talk about it now? I don't really feel like crying in a taxi...

 **Monét X-Change, 3:27 pm:** Of course, baby. Of course. I will see you tomorrow okay? Come at around one and we'll have a kiki.

 **Aquaria, 3:27 pm:** Thank you, Kevin. :*

“We're here”, the driver pulled over, before exiting and starting to look for a cart to put Giovanni's luggage on.

The young man exited the car as well, then took his bag and thanked the driver with a polite smile.

“Keep the change”, he said, while handing him some cash.

He quickly entered the airport and deposited his suitcases, before heading to the lounge and helping himself with a glass of juice.With a sigh, he took his phone out of his bag and tried to come up with a reply for Maxwell.

Nothing. Again.

The screen lit up for a quick second.

 **Nicola, 3:51 pm:** Already at the airport? How are you feeling?

He bit his lower lip, before answering.

 **Giovanni, 3:52 pm:** Honestly? I don't know... I have so many things on my mind and I can't stop thinking about other things and all this thinking is making me crazy.

“Way to go, Giovanni. You really have a way with words”, he sneered, after reading the message once again.

 **Nicola, 3:52 pm:** Care to untuck? (See what I did there?)

Giovanni smiled at the attempt at making him laugh, before typing further.

 **Aquaria, 3:53 pm:** I do not know where to begin, honestly... there is so much going on and I have so little control over how things are going...

 **Nicola, 3:54 pm:** I will take an educated guess and say it has little to do with the lack of creativity in your current work, right?

 **Nicola, 3:54 pm:** And before you start, your work is still fucking incredible.

 **Nicola, 3:55 pm:** But I've known you long enough, kid...

The young man sighed, before answering.

 **Giovanni, 3:56 pm:** I am in a weird place, right now. After all this drama about Jordan and people assuming I treated him like a fucking slave, I had to sit and watch that video. And it stung more than I could ever predict.

Giovanni quickly realized he was close to tears and decided to put his sunglasses back on, just to prevent a scene.

The other man's answer was concise.

 **Nicola, 3:58 pm:** Tell him

 **Nicola, 3:58 pm:** Tell him that it hurt and maybe you can sort this shit out

 **Giovanni, 3:59 pm:** Maybe

 **Nicola, 4:00 pm:** Listen, I'll be in NYC tomorrow afternoon. Sushi at mine?

Giovanni smiled: the care that man had for him was something he was incredibly grateful for, even if he could not quite figure out why the older one was caring so much. He quickly typed an answer.

 **Giovanni, 4:01 pm:** I could use some sushi for dinner tomorrow, actually

 **Nicola, 4:01 pm:** Then it's a date! Let's say at 9 PM?

 **Giovanni, 4:02 pm:** That sounds perfect. I'll see you tomorrow.

 **Nicola, 4:03 pm:** See you tomorrow, kid. Be safe xoxo

When his flight was announced, the young man got up quickly and made his way towards the gate. Once seated, he closed his eyes and slowly fell asleep.

 

*******

 

“Guess who's back in da house!”.

Kevin welcomed him with a solid hug and a warm smile. Maxwell entered the apartment, hung is coat and made his way to the kitchen, where Yuhua and Dustin were chatting sipping on some cheap wine.

“Hi guys”, he smiled and took a couple of steps forward to hug the both of them.

Yuhua hugged him back, with a big smile.

“How have you been, girl?”, the queen asked, before making space for Dustin to hug him too.

Max hugged the friend back, before answering: “Good. Busy but I can't complain”.

They quickly sat at the table, waiting for the food to be delivered.

“Has someone heard from Giovanni?”, Dustin asked, while sipping on his glass of wine.

Kevin raised his glass, nodding.

“I did. He's not home until later tonight”, he explained, then he added: “I will meet with him tomorrow, to see how he's doing and stuff”.

Yuhua raised an eyebrow.

“Stuff?”.

In that exact moment, Maxwell chocked on his glass of soda and started coughing, causing Dustin to laugh manically.

“You bitch!”, Kevin laughed, patting his best friend on the back in order to prevent him from choking any further, “I want to see how he's doing, what he's up to and this kind of things. I also have yet to give him my Christmas present”, he said with a proud smile.

The sound of the doorbell interrupted the conversation and the host stood up to go take the food and pay.

“I'll be right back, ladies”.

After a couple of minutes, they were sitting in front of a plethora of boxes and paper bags full of Thai food.

“You really went all out”, Yuhua looked at the food with disbelief, before adding: “Are you sure you don't need anything from us?”.

Kevin pinched his friend, before opening a container and smiling at the sight of the steaming hot curry inside it.

“I just thought it would be nice to spend time all together again”, he said before pausing and adding: “Well, without Giovanni... but you know what I mean”.

The others nodded, before starting to eat.

 

*******

 

Finally in his apartment, Giovanni left the suitcases in the hallway and sighed.

“Home sweet home”, he murmured, before switching the light on and deciding he might as well turn the heating on and warm up the rooms a little bit.

His phone vibrated, making him jump.

 **Jordan, 00:17 am:** In February I will be gone.

 **Jordan, 00:17 am:** Just letting you know.

The young man bit his lower lip, before typing a quick answer.

 **Giovanni, 00:18 am:** Thank you for letting me know.

He put his phone back in his pocket, then he went to his room and opened a drawer, taking out a small plastic bag. He rolled himself a joint and went to smoke it on the balcony, trying to clear his head.

“Shit”, he murmured, before closing his eyes and sighing.

He did not know what to do, let alone how to react to Jordan's antics any more. After the whole fiasco in London, he had absolutely no idea how to go further without ruining their friendship. When the management stepped in, he had no other options than to fire him and the expression in his eyes was one of defiance and cockiness he had never seen before.

“As if you would survive a day without me”, Jordan sneered, before collecting his jacket and leaving the room.

Giovanni took his phone out of his jacket, hoping Nicola would be awake and willing to listen to him vent.

 **Aquaria, 00:23 am:** I am currently sitting on the staircase outside and all I can think about is how many friendships I've fucked up. It's making me slowly insane and paranoid and so unsure of myself it is almost disgusting. I don't recognise this part of me and it scares me, I don't know how to react to Maxwell's messages or to Jordan's rage and it is making me go crazy.

He sent the message without checking the name of the receiver. Needless to say, just because karma and faith every once in a while love to play tricks on people, he sent it to Maxwell instead without realizing the mistake he made.

He locked the screen, finished his joint and headed to the bathroom to have a shower, blissfully unaware of what just happened.

 

*******

 

Maxwell's phone vibrated, making the man jump slightly.

“Everything allright, Cracks?”, Kevin asked, before looking at him quizzically.

The other man nodded.

“It's just my phone, Kathelyn must have gotten home or something”, he replied, before taking his phone out of his pocket.

The message he got was definitely not from Kathelyn.

 **Aquaria, 00:23 am:** I am currently sitting on the staircase outside and all I can think about is how many friendships I've fucked up. It's making me slowly insane and paranoid and so unsure of myself it is almost disgusting. I don't recognise this part of me and it scares me, I don't know how to react to Maxwell's messages or to Jordan's rage and it is making me go crazy.

Needless to say, the man barely managed to whisper a confused: “What...?”, before signalling to his best friend to join him on the balcony.

Once the door behind them was closed, much to Yuhua and Dustin's disappointment, the younger man was presented with the other one's phone.

“What is happening, Max?”, he then asked.

“Read it”, Maxwell said, sighing.

Kevin read everything twice, before looking at his friend with concern in his eyes.

“I reckon it wasn't for me either”, he then commented, trying to lighten up the mood and failing miserably at it.

Max sat on the floor, before closing his eyes and murmuring: “What should I do?”.

The other one shrugged, before joining him on the floor and giving him his phone back.

“Well, now at least you know he's not mad or something...”, he murmured, trying to sound comforting, “I'll see him tomorrow and maybe I can try...”.

“No, I don't think it's a good idea”, the other one interrupted him, “I don't want him to feel trapped or some shit”.

Kevin nodded.

“Yeah, it makes sense”, he mumbled, before getting up: “Let's go and see what the others are doing. I will keep you posted tomorrow, okay?”.

Maxwell nodded, then he got up as well and squeezed his friend's hand.

“Thank you”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter was supposed to end way further in the story, then I got carried away and I had to cut it at some point. Consider it the first half of the second chapter. Hopefully I'll have the second half ready soon ;-)  
> Thanks for stopping by, thanks for all the kudos and the reviews: it really means a lot.


	3. Chapter 2.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lunch at Monét's turns out to be quite the conversation. Between live-rants and breakups, there's always time for a little heart to heart with the Bronx's most beloved dragqueen.

_What have I become_  
_My sweetest friend_  
_Everyone I know_  
_Goes away in the end_  
_And you could have it all_  
_My empire of dirt_  
_I will let you down_  
_I will make you hurt  
__(J_[ **ohnny Cash, Hurt**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc))

 

The vibration of his phone caused Giovanni to wake up. The young man grumbled, before stretching his arms and deciding he might as well sleep another ten minutes. A second vibration made him groan: what the hell was going on? He took the smartphone from his night stand and started reading.

 **Jordan, 09:13 am:** I'll come in the afternoon and start putting my stuff in boxes.

 **Jordan, 09:13 am:** Just letting you know.

He sighed, before answering with a quick thumb up and throwing the phone on the other side of the bad.

“Damn it”, he murmured, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

He wanted nothing more than to enjoy his day off in peace, without petty drama and bullshit. However, karma seemed to be on his case once again. A new vibration made him scoff.

“Oh for fuck sake!”, he groaned, then he proceeded to read.

 **Francesca, 09:16 am:** Mamma said you are off today. I don't have classes for another hour and I could use some of your non-existing humour. Skype?

He quickly typed a reply.

 **Giovanni, 09:16 am:** Of course, baby. Are you okay? What happened?

His phone lit up once again, this time with an incoming Skype-call. He answered quickly and took a good look at his sister.

“Francesca”, he asked concerned, “are you actually sitting alone on a bench with puffy eyes?”.

The other one sniffed, before shaking her head.

“Allergies”, she mumbled, then she blew her nose.

“Balle”, he cut her off “What happened, tesoro?”.

The girl started sobbing uncontrollably, making his worries grow by the second.

“Baby”, he tried to soothe her, “Breathe, okay? I'm here. Take a deep breath, it's all going to be okay”.

In the following half hour, Giovanni listened to his sister's sad break-up story and tried as best as he could not to show her how angry and upset he actually was. His baby sister was an incredibly smart and hard-working woman and she certainly did not deserve to be treated like that.

“How can I trust people?”, Francesca asked between sobs, “How can I possibly trust anyone ever again?”.

The young man sighed, uncertain about what to say.

“Tesoro”, he murmured affectionately, “Not everyone will hurt you. And those who do hurt you are not deserving of your time, let alone your affection”.

The other one's small nod made him smile.

“It is going to be okay, I promise”, he added.

Francesca blew her nose loudly, making him chuckle.

“Do you want me to call dad?”, Giovanni asked, perfectly aware of the deep connection between David Palandrani and his daughter.

The other one shrugged, before answering: “I guess... would you?”.

“Of course, baby”, he smiled, “Don't worry about it, I'll do it”.

“How do you trust people?”.

His sister's question left him dumbfounded and, at the same time, made him wince. Needless to say, he was not the best person to consult with in case of trust issues and doubts. He suddenly felt way younger and afraid of failing one of the most important people in his life.

“I guess you go with your guts”, he mumbled tentatively, before lowering his gaze and closing his eyes for a split second.

“Did it work with Jordan?”, Francesca asked, looking at him with concern.

Giovanni sighed.

“In the beginning, I guess”, he answered, before adding: “Don't worry about Jordan now, tesoro. It's all good. It's great, actually”.

An incoming work-related call saved the young man from further questioning and the two said their goodbyes with the promise of catching up the following day.

“Just to make sure you're okay”, Giovanni said.

He spent the following twenty minutes on the phone with IMG Models, scheduling photo-shoots and modeling-related appointments.

“Please, be mindful of your weight and measurements”, the secretary of the agency reminded him, before ending the phone-call.

“Well, no shit Sherlock”, he mumbled to himself, before noticing it was already almost eleven and he needed to get ready.

He sent a message to his father, before getting up and making his way to the kitchen.

 **Giovanni, 10:47 am:** Francesca just called crying. That coglione broke up with her and she's inconsolable.

He then put the kettle on and made himself a cup of tea, before picking up a pair of jeans and a jumper and starting to get dressed. Kevin lived not to far away from him: he might as well walk to the other's apartment and get a good hour of exercise in. He sipped on his tea and scrolled through his Instagram feed, stopping to take a look at Nicola's stories and smile at the sight of the man lounging in the sun of Las Vegas.

“He has not answered yet”, he murmured to himself and shrugged, “Maybe he wants to talk about it in person”.

A vibration interrupted his thought-process.

 **Monét X-Change, 11:23 am:** Can you please bring some wine? Yuhua drank it all! :O

Giovanni chuckled, before answering.

 **Aquaria, 11:23 am:** White or red?

The text he received made him cackle loudly.

 **Monét X-Change, 11:24 am:** Wine.

 **Aquaria, 11:25 am:** I'll take care of it, no probs.

Quickly, the young man went to his bedroom to take his jacket and his wallet. With the phone still in his hand, he quickly closed the door to his room and locked it, before putting the key in his pocket and quickly making his way to the front door.

He exited his apartment, checked his pockets one last time and locked the door behind him, before making his way to the elevator and pressing the button. Once out of the building, Giovanni looked briefly around before deciding the wine from the bodega was good enough for his lunch with Kevin. Neither of them understood anything about wines and there was little to no point in trying to impress his friend.

“He will drink regardless”, he mumbled to himself, while entering the little shop and smiling at the cat lounging next to the register.

The young man quickly found a bottle of Pinot and paid for it, then he exited the shop and started walking.

 

“Bitch!”.

Kevin engulfed him in a tight hug, before putting the wine on the small entry-table and hugging him again.

“It's good to see you”, the younger one murmured with a smile, before taking a good look around and commenting: “I see you have settled in pretty comfortably”.

The other one nodded, before making his way to the kitchen and putting the wine on the table.

“Come sit!”, he beckoned Giovanni to follow him, “Come on, take a seat and eat something!”.

His enthusiasm was almost contagious.

In that exact moment, Aquaria's phone vibrated.

“Sorry”, he mumbled, “I'll put it away immediately. Promise.”

 **Jordan, 01:05 pm:** You really closed the door? Really?

 **Jordan, 01:05 pm:** I don't know what you think you're doing but it's ridiculous.

 **Jordan, 01:06 pm:** You are ridiculous.

He sighed, before setting the device on “do not disturb”.

“Everything okay?”, Kevin's voice startled him.

He managed to smile weakly, before nodding.

“Of course, don't worry”, Giovanni lied, knowing fully well the other one would have never bought it, “It's honestly no big deal”.

The older one sighed, before taking the bottle and the glasses and making his way to the living room.

“Sit here and wait for me, okay?” he instructed the other one.

In a couple of minutes, the two were comfortably sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and some food on a little tray.

“Okay”, Kevin started with a small smile, “What is it happening?”.

It was a simple question, however Giovanni did not really know where to start. He closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to calm himself enough to put a few words together in a coherent sentence. Exactly in that moment, a flashback of his fight with Jordan made him wince slightly.

“Baby...”, his friend's voice sounded worried, while he asked tentatively: “What happened in London?”.

The younger one sighed, before taking a deep breath and asking: “What did you hear about it?”.

The other one bit his lower lip, then he answered.

“That you fired him in London and he wants to get sober in LA”.

There was a tentativeness to Kevin's voice that made Giovanni snort.

“Come on”, he said, “You can do better than this”.

The other one took a deep breath, before nodding.

“Okay, full tea”, he started, “I heard that you freaked out and screamed at him in the car, after the gala. I heard that you fired him on the spot and had to fly on your own while he was staying in London with some guy. Someone speculates you two were fucking and things went sour, someone thinks it's about money”.

Not receiving any kind of answer, he continued: “Someone says it's because of drugs and someone else was implying he caused a scene at the Gala and embarrassed you. Since I came back from touring, there is this constant chatter about the two of you and how you should have never worked together...”.

The sob on the other side made Kevin stop, dead on his tracks.

“Oh baby”, he murmured, before hugging the other one and adding: “I'm sorry”.

Giovanni shook his head, before breaking the hug and looking for a tissue in the pocket of his trousers. Once he found it, he wiped his tears and took a deep breath.

“It was so bad”, he murmured, incapable of cancelling those hours from his mind, “I did not know what to do, I was alone and had no idea how to help”.

He instinctively looked for his friend's hand and squeezed it, before continuing: “The management called the very same evening and it was so humiliating...”.

Kevin nodded, before handing him a new tissue and prodding: “What did Jordan say, after that?”.

The other one scoffed, trying to contain his hurt and failing badly at it.

“He asked me how I dared, he questioned my work and said I would have never survived without him”, he answered, “I never saw him acting or speaking like that”, he then murmured before lowering his head.

Monét nodded, before sighing.

“I'm sorry baby”.

Giovanni nodded and mumbled a small “Thank you”, before blowing his nose.

They spent a couple of seconds in relative silence, before the younger one started speaking again.

“I really thought it was a phase. I thought I could help”, he sighed, “However I can not put my whole career in jeopardy because of Jordan's issues”.

The older one nodded.

“You did the right thing, Giovanni”, he then murmured and hugged his friend once more.

“Can I have a sip of wine?”, the younger one asked weakly, before wiping away his own tears once again.

Kevin handed him a full glass with a smile, before taking a sip himself.

“It will get better, eventually”, he said, before taking a deep breathe and asking: “Do you want to talk about the video during the interview?”.

Seeing that the other one was still moping he quickly added: “You don't have to, but maybe it would make you feel better”.

Giovanni nodded, before getting up.

“I just need a small break... can I use the toilet?”.

 

 

Ten minutes later, the two men were sitting on the sofa and munching on some Thai food.

“Thanks for the food”, Giovanni murmured, before taking a small sip of his wine and continuing: “Do you mind if I check my phone quickly?”.

The other one shook his head, so he took his phone out of his pocket and looked for messages or missed calls.

 **Jordan, 02:03 pm:** I left the boxes in my room

 **Jordan, 02:03 pm:** I'll pick them up later this week

He sighed, before replying with a thumb up and continuing reading.

 **Nicola, 02:07 pm:** Is our dinner still on? What about eight at mine?

He quickly sent an answer back, before noticing that the message he sent the night before had somehow disappeared.

“Weird”, he murmured.

 **Giovanni, 02:10 pm:** Of course! You know I never turn down sushi! See you later! Xoxo

He locked the screen, before putting his phone back in his pocket.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Monét asked softly, looking at him with concern.

The other sighed, before biting his lower lip.

“I don't know what to say”, he murmured, “I did not want to be in the position of questioning our friendship again, you know?”, he added, sounding incredibly tired and almost _spent._

“It's like the old days, before things went sour”, he continued after having taken a small sip of his wine, “I don't know if I can trust him and it's like... it's like a constant reminder that I'm not good enough”.

“That is bullshit”, Kevin cut him off, “You and Cracker should really stop with this not good enough crap”.

The other one mumbled something, before putting the wine glass down and taking a small piece of bread and starting nibbling at it.

“Do you feel like telling me what do you mean by like the old days?”, the older one asked softly, trying to understand his friend's point of view as best as he could.

Giovanni took another small bite at his piece of bread, before answering.

“There were moments when I felt made fun of”, he then confessed, “He used to post dumb shit on Facebook and write a comment saying something like... mh... wait until Aquaria likes it. Or let's see how long it will take before Aquaria will like this post”.

He shrugged, before continuing.

“I constantly felt the pressure of being this mature man when I was barely twenty and it got me in the worst way possible”, he suddenly realised, “Even comparing our style and make-up felt like a dig”.

There was sadness in those words, and shame. There was the realisation their friendship could have been saved years before them being on a reality TV show. They just needed to talk openly to one another, for once. There was a taste of bitterness as well, because somehow the young man was asking himself if it was too late to mend those wounds.

“You should talk to him”, Kevin's voice startled him, “I am sure he would love to know what is happening in your smart little head”, he then finished with a soft smile and clear affection in his voice.

“I am sure he's okay. He seems to be doing pretty good nowadays”, the other's reply made him scoff loudly.

“You two are really something else”, he commented shaking his head, before hugging Giovanni once more and patting his back: “Thanks for sharing that with me”, he finally added for good measure.

The younger one's phone vibrated a couple of times, making the two break the hug.

 **Rémy, 02:35 pm:** He's losing it again.

 **Rémy, 02:35 pm:** Have you seen Jordan's live?

 **Rémy, 02:36 pm:** I have no idea how to stop this nonsense but someone should.

Quickly opening Instagram and selecting Jordan's latest Instastories, Giovanni was presented with a live video of his former room-mate. He was clearly intoxicated and sitting in a room the young man was not familiar with. He was talking to his and Aquaria's viewers and mumbling words.

“ _You know, I really wish him the best. Even though he is a sly little brat and can not for the love of God survive on his own. Did you know he hangs around his friends all the time because he is afraid of being alone? Because he is, let me tell you. Funny because he has no problems chasing them off of his life, if they don't fit his perfect little sanitized lie. He's an hypocrite little piece of...”._

The video suddenly stopped. Kevin took his friend's phone, close the App and put it on the table before he could witness the rest of that rant. He then moved closer to Giovanni and put a hand on his arm.

“I'm sorry, baby”, he murmured, then he continued with a sterner voice: “But you should stop watching this shit, or caring. You know who you are, you know how much hard work you put into everything you do. Think about it and let the rest go”.

Biting his lower lip, the other one nodded before getting up and taking his jacket.

“My apartment should be free now”, he announced, “I might as well go back to it and do some work”.

In a couple of minutes, the conversation was over and he was out of Kevin's apartment. When the wind started blowing making him shiver, Giovanni suddenly realized something: he didn't. He didn't know who he was, let alone who Aquaria was. Not anymore. Not after all that. Not when he struggled so hard to keep himself together without crumbling after just a couple of low blows.

“Shit”, he murmured, wiping away a single tear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The italian words mamma, tesoro, balle and coglione mean respectively: mum, honey (or sweetheart), bullshit (or lies... à la: Liza Minelli lies) and asshole (if it's used as an insult. Otherwise it could be translated with ball or testicle).  
> Again, the whole Jordan-drama is completely fabricated for plot purposes. Cracker's posts however can be easily found on his FB-page, if you have enough time to scroll through them all.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter where Monét and is a supportive friend, Nicola is a great confidant and Giovanni decides to make a move or two.

_Tell me what you need,_  
_Oh, you look so free_  
_The way you use your body, baby,_  
_Come on and work it for me_  
Don't let it get you down,  
_You're the best thing I've seen_  
We never found the answer  
__But we knew one thing  
We all have a hunger  
_(Hunger, Florence + The Machine)_

 

After having hugged Kevin goodbye, Giovanni walked to his apartment and sighed at the sight of Jordan's boxes in the hallway.

“I'll come and pick up the rest next weekend”, he read the piece of paper attached to one of them, before opening his bedroom's door and putting his jacket on the bed.

**Monét X-Change, 4:32 pm:** Bitch, you forgot your Christmas present!

**Monét X-Change, 4:32 pm:** When are you leaving for tours and stuff? I want you to have it.

“Shit”, the young queen murmured, before quickly typing an answer.

**Aquaria, 4:34 pm:** Oh shoot! I left it on the sofa! :O

**Aquaria, 4:34 pm:** I'll be in the city for at least another couple of days.

**Monét X-Change, 4:35 pm:** Good! I'll be in touch!

Giovanni smiled fondly at the last message from his friend.

**Monét X-Change, 4:35 pm:** Take good care of yourself, kiddo.

He replied with a silly kissing emoji, before noticing a message he did not see before. It was directed to Miz Cracker of all people, he realised before opening the chat.

What he had just found was enough to make him panic.

**Aquaria, 00:23 am:** I am currently sitting on the staircase outside and all I can think about is how many friendships I've fucked up. It's making me slowly insane and paranoid and so unsure of myself it is almost disgusting. I don't recognise this part of me and it scares me, I don't know how to react to Maxwell's messages or to Jordan's rage and it is making me go crazy.

Read: 00:25 am

“Oh God no”, he murmured before swallowing hard and sitting on his bed.

He put the phone down, before taking it back again and reading the message once more: he was fucked, literally screwed, he thought.

With trembling fingers he dialled Kevin's number and waited.

“Did you already miss me so much, Aquafina?”, the amused inflection of his voice died down as soon as he heard the other one trying to catch his breath.

“I... I...”, Giovanni took a deep breath, before trying to start again: “I fucked up... I fucked up so hard...”.

“Baby, what happened?”, the other man asked and the younger one could hear him fumble with keys and locking a door “Talk to me, Giovanni. What happened?”.

“Can you please come over?”, the young queen asked weakly, before adding: “If you don't have plans. Or a date. Or a meeting. Or...”.

“I'm on my way, okay? Uber should be there in twenty minutes tops”, Kevin tried to calm him down “It's gonna be okay, I promise”.

Giovanni spent the following minutes staring at his phone, reading that message over and over again.

“Read: 00:25 am”, he murmured, before jumping slightly at the sound of his doorbell.

He was still clutching to his phone, when his friend entered the apartment and found him in the bedroom.

“Baby...”, Kevin murmured, before heading up to the bed and sitting next to him, “What happened?”.

Without a word, Giovanni showed him the message.

“It was meant to be sent to Nicola”, he explained before sighing: “I'm so stupid!”.

The other one looked at the message before taking a deep breath and starting to speak: “You're not. Please, talk to him. I know Cracks well enough to be sure that he just want to know if you're okay. He was kinda confused when he read it...”.

“He read it”, the younger one sighed, then he turned to face his friend and continued: “And you knew it”.

Somehow, there were no accusations in the young man's voice, just resignation and a hint of despair.

The other one nodded, before adding: “He received the message while we were having dinner and drinks. Well mostly drinks but yeah... he showed it to me and I said we were meeting for lunch. He said not to tell you anything, just to make sure you're okay”, he finished with a shrug.

“Okay”.

Giovanni looked like a child, Kevin thought while observing his friend. He looked like a lost child that suddenly realised that there was no magic in this world. He looked lost and broken and sad and scared and confused and it was frankly scary.

“Can I give you a hug? You really look like you need one”, the older queen murmured, clearly taken aback by his friend's reaction.

“Please”, the other one nodded, before looking at him with sadness in his eyes, “I could really use a hug”.

 

**Monét X-Change, 5:32 pm:** Giovanni knows.

Maxwell Heller was sewing the hem of a pencil skirt that he was planning on wearing during his next tour, when the phone vibrated making him stop to check what was happening.

“Shit”, he murmured after having read, before typing an answer.

**Miz Cracker, 5:33 pm:** How did he take it?

**Monét X-Change, 5:34 pm:** Like a top bottoming for the first time.

**Monét X-Change, 5:34 pm:** I went to his apartment because he was losing it.

**Miz Cracker, 5:35 pm:** You and your top shaming..

**Miz Cracker, 5:35 pm:** Is he okay now?

**Monét X-Change, 5:36 pm:** I don't know

**Monét X-Change, 5:36 pm:** I think he was already down because of Jordan and he just could not take it any more.

The man frowned at the name of Aquaria's assistant.

**Miz Cracker, 5:37 pm:** What happened with Jordan?

**Monét X-Change, 5:37 pm:** He went live on IG and it was messy AF

**Monét X-Change, 5:38 pm:** Wait... you don't know, do you?

Maxwell opened his laptop and waited for it to load, before typing something and waiting a couple of seconds. After that, he was presented with the recording of Jordan's recent live video.

“What the fuck...?”, he murmured confused, before calling: “Katelyn, come here a second please!”.

The young woman came into the room just in time to witness the beginning of a long winded rant.

“ _You know, I really wish him the best. Even though he is a sly little brat and can not for the love of God survive on his own. Did you know he hangs around his friends all the time because he is afraid of being alone? Because he is, let me tell you. Funny because he has no problems chasing them off of his life, if they don't fit his perfect little sanitized lie.”_

“Oh Christ”, she murmured, before sitting on a chair and listening further.

In the meantime, Maxwell picked his phone and found a new message from his best friend.

**Monét X-Change, 5:47 pm:** Cracks, are you there?

He quickly typed an answer.

**Miz Cracker, 5:48 pm:** Yeah, sorry.

**Miz Cracker, 5:48 pm:** I was watching Jordan's live

**Monét X-Change, 5:49 pm:** Yeah, that was a shit show.

**Miz Cracker, 5:49 pm:** He was trashed

**Monét X-Change, 5:50 pm:** He wants to sober up in LA...

Maxwell snorted, after reading the last message.

**Miz Cracker, 5:50 pm:** Well good luck with that

**Monét X-Change, 5:51 pm:** Yeah, this mess was not helping either

**Monét X-Change, 5:51 pm:** It was painful to watch.

**Miz Cracker, 5:52 pm:** Do you think I should reach out?

The man bit his lower lip, waiting for his friend's answer.

**Monét X-Change, 5:53 pm:** Do you want to?

He snorted, before typing furiosly.

**Miz Cracker, 5:53 pm:** Don't start again with your conspiracy theories!

**Miz Cracker, 5:54 pm:** This has nothing to do with me liking Giovanni

**Miz Cracker, 5:54 pm:** Which btw I never confessed and I don't know where you got the idea.

**Miz Cracker, 5:55 pm:** I mean... should I check on him?

**Miz Cracker, 5:55 pm:** Or do you think it's best to leave him in peace?

**Monét X-Change, 5:56 pm:** You do you, boo

**Monét X-Change, 5:56 pm:** Maybe see how he's feeling. I mean friends do it all the time.

Maxwell read the last message one more time, before opening another conversation and typing a quick message.

**Miz Cracker, 5:58 pm:** Hey, I saw Jordan's live and wanted to make sure you're okay. I'll be in NYC for the better part of next week, if you need me.

He read it to check on the content and snorted, then he deleted it and tried again.

**Miz Cracker, 5:59 pm:** I was shown Jordan's live and I have no words to tell you how sorry I am. This should have not happened to you and you do not deserve it. I hope you're okay and know that you can always call me or Katelyn if you need us.

“For fuck's sake Maxwell, get yourself together”, he mumbled before starting to write a new message once again, “Okay, I can do it...”.

**Miz Cracker, 6:02 pm:** Just saw Jordan's live. Are you okay?

**Miz Cracker, 6:03 pm:** I know you have a lot going on right now and if you don't feel like talking about it, it's cool. Just remember that we're here.

**Miz Cracker, 6:03 pm:** For real, Giovanni. We're here.

 

Giovanni spent the ride to Nicola's apartment reading Maxwell's message. He still had not answered, unsure about what to write.

When the car pulled over, he exited with a smile and waited for Nicola to let him in.

“Welcome”, the older man smiled at him, before pulling him in a hug that he gladly reciprocated, making the designer chuckle.

“Wow, a full hug”, he said, “Life must be really hard right now, if you go for it”.

The younger one smiled, before shrugging helplessly.

“I guess you have a point”, he finally admitted, before adding: “I know what you're going to say... please don't”.

Nicola smiled once again, before nodding and making his way towards the kitchen.

“Come, kiddo”, he beckoned him, “Sushi is on its way, we might as well sit and have a glass of wine”.

They were sitting on the terrace, when Giovanni took a deep breath and dared to ask.

“I'd love to hear your opinion on something”, he mumbled, before taking his phone and opening _that_ chat.

He showed Nicola the last messages, before tapping on the longest one from him and adding: “That was meant for you but I realised today I sent it to Maxwell”.

The older man took the phone and read the message, before giving it back without a word.

“Okay”, the young queen continued, “Today he apparently saw Jordan's live and wrote me a message... well three and I don't know what to say”.

The designer sighed, before taking a small sip of his wine. There was an awkward veil of silence in the room and neither spoke for a couple of minutes.

“Okay”, Formichetti finally said “First of all I will say this: I am sorry I could not be there for you that night”, the designer took a deep breath before continuing: “ _But_ I also have to say this: stop pushing people out by ghosting them. It's a stupid mind game and no one deserves that kind of shit”.

The younger man instinctively lowered his gaze and bit his lower lip.

“I understand that you have a lot on your plate right now”, the other man was not finished, “But that is just how it is going to be and you are smart enough to know it. You _need_ people in your life and if you keep pushing them away you'll end up alone and incapable of keeping it together.”

Giovanni nodded in silence.

“I know”, he murmured, “I just...”, he took a deep breath, trying to put words together in a sentence, “I just don't know how to do it. How to trust people and to let them in and...”.

Nicola smiled with affection, before reaching for the other one's hand.

“Well, admitting it is the first step”, he chuckled before opening his arms: “Hug, kiddo? You might as well rehearse!”.

The younger man waited half a second before nestling in the other one's arms.

“Thank you”, he murmured, before adding: “Can you help me write a reply?”.

They spent the following seconds putting a reply together, before sending it.

“This is how you do it”, the designer said, in a terrible and not at all accurate imitation of Shangela.

**Aquaria, 09:13 pm:** Thanks for reaching out. It's been a weird couple of months for me and I am still trying to figure things out. Sorry if I did not reply to any of your messages sooner. I promise I will make an effort to keep in touch and to reply sooner, from now on. Have a nice evening.

“And now...” Nicola's word were interrupted by the doorbell, “And now sushi, kiddo”, he then said with a wink.

 

They decided to eat in the living room, sitting comfortably on the sofa and chatting about Enigma, fashion and modelling.

“They want me to do some modelling in the next couple of moths”, Giovanni said before taking a piece of sashimi, “Let's just hope that I won't make an ass of myself”.

Nicola chuckled, before ruffling his hair with a devilish grin.

“I am sure it's going to be just fine, kiddo”, he then murmured, “Just take care of yourself, will you?”.

The other one nodded and, right on cue, his phone vibrated.

**Miz Cracker, 09:57 pm:** Thank you for telling me that. Take care of yourself.

**Miz Cracker, 09:58 pm:** Seriously, otherwise Monét will have an heart-attack and you know the bitch has no health insurance.

The young queen chuckled, before putting his phone back in his pocket murmuring a quiet “Sorry”.

Nicola smiled briefly, before taking a small sip of his wine and changing the subject.

“Ready for the new tour?”, he asked, “Are you planning on travelling solo or will you hire someone?”.

Giovanni nodded, before smiling softly.

“Joe offered to temporarily work as my assistant. Until I can find someone else”, he explained with a shrug, “Austin would have been perfect but he's always so busy and frankly I do not want them to put their career on hold just for me”, he finished wincing slightly at the memory of Jordan's drunken rants about all the career chances he had to put on hold because of him.

“ _And you aren't even grateful, fuck! I could have done so much but I put my career and aspirations on hold because of your fucking tours!”._

“Don't go there”, Nicola said with a kind smile, “I am pretty sure that I know what you're thinking and let me tell you that it's not the case”.

The other one bit his lower lip, before interjecting: “Maybe a little... I mean”, he took a deep breath before continuing: “Maybe he could have spread his portfolio even more, asked for features and got a couple of jobs. You know what I mean?”.

The designer shook his head, before deciding he could as well share his professional opinion.

“He has a very distinct look that not everyone can appreciate. I get the Madonna reference, the _maudit_ flair if you will but let me tell you, it's not easy nowadays to make an impression, let alone a good one”, he commented, before smiling reassuringly.

“But he worked with you”, Giovanni commented, suddenly unsure.

The older one smiled fondly, before squeezing his hand.

“Let just say that there is someone I care about and they were really close. And I wanted to make that someone happy”, he shrugged, before taking a osomaki and biting it slowly.

The young queen smiled in return, before putting his chopsticks down and waiting for the other one to do the same in order to squeeze his hand. He moved closer, before looking at him and slowly moving his lips towards Nicola's cheek. They stayed like that for a handful of seconds, before turning to face each other and making their lips collide. It was a tentative, almost scared kiss. It was full of questions ( _Is it the right thing to do? Will it be enough to destroy our creative relationship? What the hell are we thinking?_ ) and full of promises ( _Let me take care of you. Let me make you feel better. Let me in, just for a little while_ ).

Giovanni put a hand on the other one's cheek, before kissing him again, deeply this time.

“Bed?” the designer asked.

The younger one nodded, without saying a word.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess you already noticed how much I love Monét and how much I admire Nicola Formichetti's work... hopefully the chapter made up for the slightly longer wait... who knows? Thanks for taking the time to read this!


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath can be challenging, if not complicated, at times.

_But oh how it feels so real_  
_Lying here with no one near_  
_Only you and you can hear me_  
_When I say softly, slowly_

_Hold me closer tiny dancer_  
_Count the headlights on the highway_  
_Lay me down in sheets of linen_  
_You had a busy day today_

_(Tiny dancer, Elton John)_

 

Giovanni woke up fairly early, stretching himself lazily under the covers before remembering _it.  
_Confused flashbacks of the previous night started becoming more and more clear, while the young man was trying not to panic.

As it turned out, Nicola was not only caring and thoughtful as a friend. Even as a lover – _could he call him a lover? Were they lovers now? What was happening there? -_ he was kind and generous and warm in a way that the younger one never experienced. He stroke his hair, kissed him over and over again, took notice of every single inflection in the other one's moaning and held him tight when they both collapsed after the second orgasm. It was the best sex he had had in a very long time, because it somehow tasted a little bit like _love._ But, again, what could possibly little awkward Giovanni Palandrani know about love?

“Shit”, he mumbled before trying to stand up without making any noise.

In that exact moment, he heard a light chuckle and turned his head to find Nicola's warm eyes and an equally warm smile. He was laying on his side, looking at him. The man stretched his hand to caress Giovanni's jaw, before talking.

“Don't panic”, he murmured softly, “Let's get dressed and talk this through after a cup of tea”.

Without any further words, the older man got up, took a pair of sweatpants from a drawer and tossed it in front of the other one. The intoxicating yet pleasant smell of sandalwood and fabric softener was suddenly all the younger man could smell.

“You might as well put something on, kiddo”, he chuckled, then he exited the room and Giovanni could hear him climbing down the stairs whistling.

He got up and put the pants on, fumbling a second with the string and smiling at the little pandas on it, before stretching once more and following the other one. The kettle was already on, while the designer was fumbling with different tea mixtures. Some soft music was playing in the background and, for once, the younger one was perfectly happy with looking at the other's defined shoulders. _Until he got caught and lowered his gaze, obviously._

“Here”.

Nicola passed him a steaming mug, before taking his own and gesturing to the couch in the sitting room. It was the very same couch where they started kissing the evening before.

“Let's sit for one second, okay?”, he asked with a soft smile.

The gentle tone made Giovanni sigh – _did he deserve all that kindness?_ \- before following the other man and sitting on the black leather sofa. He bit his lower lip, not knowing what to say. Of all the man he had slept with, _he_ was the only one he cared about and not knowing what to say or how to talk about what happened wasn't helping his current state of mind.

“Kiddo, are you okay?”, the designer asked.

He sounded so concerned that the younger one felt a little guilty and lowered his gaze. _Did he actually deserve it?_ Instead of fumbling with words he was sure were wrong to begin with, the younger man stayed silent.

Without a word, Nicola put his mug on the floor and sat on the carpet, in front of Giovanni, then he took his hand, before squeezing it reassuringly.

“Giovanni, talk to me”, he murmured, “Tell me what is on your mind. I promise I won't judge you or else. _I promise I am not going anywhere._ ”.

The younger queen nodded, before sitting on the floor as well, next to the man, and sighing.

He _had_ to find the right words. His friendship with Nicola meant too much to be put in jeopardy by his lack of communication. He could do this.

“I just... I...”, he took a deep breath before continuing: “I just don't know what to say. What if I fucked up? Again...”.

The older man smiled kindly, kissing him on the cheek before speaking.

“You haven't fucked up, I promise”, he took a second to think what to say next, then he continued: “I know you have a lot on your plate. I know of _him._ Trust me, _I know._ ”

At the mention of _him,_ Giovanni looked at the other man with disbelief in his eyes.

He thought no one knew. He considered _it_ his best kept secret. He suddenly felt naked, powerless and taken off guard

“What...?”, he managed to mumble, before lowering his gaze once again, “How do you know it?”.

Nicola moved a little in his direction, trying to make the other one realise that _he wasn't going anywhere._

“I am an old gay man, kiddo”, the designer then answered, “Believe it or not, I still know a thing or two”, he then said with a wink and squeezed his hand reassuringly.

The younger man took a deep breath, before speaking.

“Are you mad now?”, he asked, trying – and failing – to put some sense into his words “I promise it's not because of him”, he then added..

Nicola smiled kindly, caressing him with that soft loving caring gaze of him.

“I am not mad”, he said, then he hugged the younger one and caressed his back, “I am not mad and you should not be mad at yourself”.

The other one hugged him back, relishing in the warmth of their embrace.

He could do that. He could make it.

“Okay”, he mumbled.

“Okay”.

 

When Giovanni left Nicola's apartment two hours later, the designer sighed.

They spent the rest of the time cuddling, engulfed in a tight hug that smelt a lot like a promise they could not keep.

“What a fucking mess”, he murmured, before taking his clothes off once again, _this time by himself,_ and heading to the shower.

He knew it. He _fucking_ knew that Giovanni was emotionally unavailable, stuck between the ghost of a past relationship and a crush that was eating him alive in the worst way possible. He knew that the younger one cared about him and he also very well knew that it was not the kind of emotional connection he was wishing for. That kid admired him, cared for him and valued their friendship, however there was nothing romantic about the way he looked at it. He was like a lost puppy, his kiddo, he did not know what to do and looked for warmth and love wherever he could find them. He knew it, he knew all those thing and yet, he gave in.

He lost himself in an embrace that could suffocate him just to make Giovanni's burden a little lighter.

“Fuck”, he took a deep breath, before entering the shower.

Nicola had always admired that kid, the courage he had to pursue his big dream, his willingness to work hard and never stop trying. He remembered the first time he laid eyes on him, the first time he saw that gorgeous young man walking a runway and smiling timidly at people. There was a pureness to it, a beauty so rare and difficult to catch that he could not stop staring at him. It was during their stay in Tokyo that he realised he _liked_ him more than an adult man probably should. Seeing his work ethic, his readiness to understand his surroundings better and to grow constantly to become a better performer was so beautiful to witness that he found himself staring, again, more than once. Once he realised how emotionally unavailable and caught up in his own mind Giovanni was, he had to quickly make peace with the fact that _he was officially doomed._ He could not put their creative and personal relationship in jeopardy, so he had to downplay all those freaking butterflies in his stomach, to smile when all he wanted was to make him as happy as someone could possibly be.

At the Queero's gala he even almost kissed Aquaria, he almost kissed _him_ , moved by her awkward try to deliver a speech in front of all those people. The younger one made a joke about it, kissed him on the cheek and smiled softly, before turning away and smile at the photographers. _While he was still holding his hand._ They never talked about it, in hopes to forget about a moment of weakness no one was expecting. Nicola mumbled something about having drunk too much and the other one just nodded distractedly. They buried it under a thick cover of embarrassment and tried to move on. Needless to say, it did not work.

Turning the water off, Nicola looked at the small bruise on his chest and sighed. _That_ was not supposed to happen.

“Porca puttana”, he murmured.

 

In his newly renovated apartment, Kevin was scrolling through Instagram when he received that message.

**Aquaria, 1:03 pm:** Something happened.

**Aquaria, 1:03 pm:** I slept with Nicola.

“Shit”, he murmured, before ignoring Patrick's confused gaze and opening the door to the balcony and reading the message once again.

**Monét X-Change, 1:04 pm:** Like the very old one? The designer?

He decided to try with some humour.

**Monét X-Change, 1:04 pm:** Come through sugar daddy!

The answer he got made him worry. What the hell was happening?

**Aquaria, 1:05 pm:** It was great and special but I know it's not right and I'm scared I will lose him. I have so many things running through my head right now and I do not know where to start... it's so messed up.

Kevin sighed, before trying to be the best friend he could be.

**Monét X-Change, 1:06 pm:** Do you want to talk about it?

The answer he got made him sigh. Typical Giovanni.

**Aquaria, 1:06 pm:** I need to figure shit out, but thanks. Please keep it to yourself.

**Aquaria, 1:07 pm:** Please, Kevin.

“Shit, if Cracks finds out...”, he murmured to himself, before hearing a very well known voice and being reminded that Maxwell was, in fact, supposed to stop by to help him out with some comedy material.

“What should I not find out?”.

_Shit._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me ages to finish this little chapter but, oh well, here we are. Thank you for sticking with me, thanks for the precious feedback and I will see you very soon. Hopefully ;-)


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giovanni tries to confront Jordan while Maxwell does the same with Monét. It ends with a bang. Both times.

_I've been a friend with unbiased views_   
_Then secretly lust after you_   
_So now you feel lusty,_   
_You're bored and bemused_   
_You want to do someone else_   
_So you should be by yourself_   
_Instead of here with me_   
_Secretly_   
_(Secretly, Skunk Anansie)_

 

Nicola was a great cuddler, Giovanni thought while going back to his apartment.

He smiled fondly at the memories of his hugs, of the way he took care of him and made him feel wanted, seen, _loved._ The young man would have lied if he said that he was unaware of the weird yet comfortable dynamic between the designer and himself. They were often bantering, exchanging silly texts just to make the other one smile or laugh, sharing ideas and perspectives knowing they would have both benefited from it. When Nicola tried to kiss him at the Queero's Award gala, the weight of their relationship and its connotations dawned on him for the very first time. It was scary yet exciting to know that someone wanted him _and_ Aquaria but did not want him _because of_ Aquaria.

The vulnerability the older man showed the night before, however, scared him a little. Did he really want all that power? Did he really want to be in the position of hurting someone he cared about? With a sight he read the message that he sent to Kevin once again.

**Aquaria, 1:06 pm:** I need to figure shit out, but thanks. Please keep it to yourself.  
 **Aquaria, 1:07 pm:** Please, Kevin.  
He then closed that conversation and opened the one he had going on with Francesca.

**Giovanni, 1:15 pm:** Tesoro, did you talk to dad?

**Giovanni, 1:15 pm:** Are you okay?

He waited for a couple of minutes but he didn't receive an answer.

“Weird”, he mumbled, before exiting the Uber and thanking the driver with a polite smile.

He tried once more.

**Giovanni, 1:18 pm:** Francesca what is happening? Are you okay?

He entered the building and started looking for his keys in his pocket, before moving towards the elevator and pressing the call button.

In that exact moment his phone vibrated, but it was not the message he would have hoped for.

**Linux, 1:23 pm:** Do you still need my rainbow wig? I need it for a look!

He quickly answered, then he exited the elevator and made his way to the door of his apartment.

**Giovanni, 1:24 pm:** No probs hun! I should have given it to you like before Xmas but I totally forgot... sorry, love! I'll bring it to you ASAP.

The string of hearts he received as an answer made him chuckle.

“Silly goose”, he murmured.

Entering the apartment, he immediately knew something was off. The loud bass music, the smell of marijuana and _that_ cackle made Giovanni suddenly realise that Jordan was back at the apartment, unannounced.

“Shit”, he said to himself, before taking a deep breath and entering the kitchen.

The other man suddenly turned around.

“Look”, he sneered, “The superstar is back”.

The young queen nodded, before murmuring: “I had no idea you were coming today”.

Jordan scoffed, then he replied: “Well, I am still paying the rent until the end of the month so I guess it's still my apartment”.

Giovanni was shortly taken aback.

“Of course”, he answered, “It was just an observation”, he tried to defend himself.

The other one laughed, before taking a drag of his joint and continuing scrolling through Instagram like he was doing minutes before his room-mate's arrival.

“Can you please smoke outside?”, the young queen asked, trying not to lose composure, “You know the landlord does not want anyone to smoke inside”, he pointed out.

“Whatever”, the blonde man scoffed, before exiting the room and reaching the fire escape on slightly unsteady feet.

With a sigh Giovanni entered his room and collapsed on the bed: he did not need any of that.

“Shit”, he murmured.

He took his phone and frowned: Francesca had yet to answer.

He opened one of the last conversations and started typing.

**Giovanni, 1:42 pm:** You probably are like tired as hell to hear from me, today. Right?

**Giovanni, 1:43 pm:** Jordan is here, unannounced.

The answer he received made him scoff.

**Nicola, 1:44 pm:** Well, it's his apartment kiddo.

**Nicola, 1:44 pm:** Are you okay though?

**Giovanni, 1:45 pm:** I'm in my room waiting for my sister to answer a message. I should probably go through some email but now I don't think I'll be able to concentrate.

**Nicola, 1:45 pm:** Why not talk to him?

**Giovanni, 1:46 pm:** Are you insane?!?!

**Giovanni, 1:46 pm:** He like hates me.

**Giovanni, 1:47 pm:** He would never listen.

**Nicola, 1:47 pm:** It would not hurt to try

**Nicola, 1:48 pm:** Give it a shot, kiddo. You both deserve it. And if it goes south I'll personally bring you to the zoo or some shit.

**Giovanni, 1:48 pm:** Just so you know, I'll do it just for the zoo.

He locked his phone, before exiting the room and locking it behind him.

Jordan was still on the fire escape, the joint long gone.

“What now?”, the blond man asked.

Giovanni sat next to him, biting his lower lip and taking a deep breath.

“I just wanted to see if you are okay”, he murmured.

The answer he received was exactly the one he did expect, but it hurt nonetheless.

“As you would care”.

He flinched slightly, before continuing: “You know I care”.

The blonde one scoffed once again.

“Bullshit”, he replied, “And we both know it”.

Giovanni closed his eyes, before opening them and taking a good look at his former room-mate.

“You know I had no fucking choice, Jordan”, he started, “You and I both also know that it went too far a couple of times and I managed to cover your ass...”, he suddenly stopped to breath and, hopefully, regain composure.

“I did everything I could to...”, he continued, but the other one cut him off.

“You did everything you could to cover your own ass”, he interjected, “Don't even start”.

Having said that, Jordan stood up and entered the kitchen.

“That is not a conversation we need to have, by the way”, he then said “So stop it”.

The phone in Giovanni's pocket vibrated in that exact moment.

**Nicola, 2:03 pm:** Please keep me posted, kiddo.

**Nicola, 2:03 pm:** I mean it.

He smiled softly, before hearing his former room-mate sneering in his direction.

“Gosh you're so pathetic”, he cackled, “You literally wag your tail as soon as someone throws you a bone”.

The queen suddenly stood up, before marching into the kitchen.

“Drop it”, he said, then he put his hand on the counter, “Fucking drop it, Jordan”.

The blonde man smiled, before cackling once more.

“What? We both know you would literally let him walk on you and thank him afterwards”, he continued, “You are so desperate for his attention it's almost disgusting”.

Giovanni felt suddenly vulnerable and livid at the same time. He was mad at Jordan for bringing that up disrespecting him and his feelings. He was however also mad at himself, for being so fucking transparent and unable to move on.

“I said stop it”, he reiterated.

The other one still did not get the message.

“Why? Am I upsetting you? Am I upsetting little Aquaria?”, he started laughing, before taking a step back the moment Giovanni took one forward.

“Jordan, I said stop it”, he said once more, before dropping the strong facade and sighing: “Please, Jordan. Please...”.

The other was took another step back, before turning around and making his way to his old bedroom.

“Whatever”, he mumbled, before closing the door.

With a sigh, Giovanni took his phone out of his pocket. Francesca seemed to have finally found the time to answer to him

**Francesca, 2:24 pm:** Yeah, we spent a good hour on the phone. Thanks for telling him. At least it was less awkward...

**Giovanni, 2:32 pm:** How are you feeling? Can I call you?

**Francesca, 2:33 pm:** Just give me a sec. I'll call you when I'm ready. Okay?

**Giovanni, 2:33 pm:** Sure, no probs tesoro. I'll wait.

While waiting, the young man opened his chat with Nicola and wrote a quick note.

**Giovanni, 2:34 pm:** You owe me a day at the zoo, Mister...

**Nicola, 2:35 pm:** ouch...

**Nicola, 2:35 pm:** Was it so bad?

**Giovanni, 2:37 pm:** Yeah, it was not the kind of conversation one would love to have willingly, you know?

**Giovanni, 2:37 pm:** Whatever, it's fine. Don't worry about it.

He scoffed after having read Nicola's last message.

**Nicola, 2:38 pm:** If you don't answer nicely there will be no zoo for you, kiddo.

He replied with a kissing emoji, then he put his phone on the bed and took his computer: he needed to check his next appointments and plan a couple of looks for the rest of his shows.

The vibration of his phone, however, made him realize that Francesca was ready to call him. He quickly picked up.

“How are you doing, tesoro?”, he immediately asked, while sitting straight and putting the laptop on the other side of the bed.

His sister sighed, before answering: “Good, I guess”, she took a second, then she continued: “I went out with the girls, yesterday. They thought that I needed a night out”.

Giovanni smiled, then he chuckled: “How bad is this hungover of yours?”.

The low grumble he received as an answer made him laugh.

“Don't be mean, Giovanni. I did not want to go out in the first place”.

The young man did not need to have his sister in front of him to realise that she was pouting. That silly little pout that had the power to convince David Palandrani to do practically everything.

“What did you do? Did you go to the club?”, he asked, eager for details.

Francesca started to tell her brother everything about her night out, sparing no details whatsoever.

“Wait wait wait”, he suddenly stopped her, trying to fake an outraged tone, “You actually hooked up with someone?”.

The small “Yes” he received as an answer was enough to make him laugh loudly.

“Ben fatto, tesoro”, Giovanni then said, “Good job”.

“Stronzo”, the girl mumbled, “for a second I though that you were gonna act all sanctimonious. You, of all people”, she then added with a light snort.

“Ouch”, he mused, before realising that he actually hooked up the night prior.

The string of questions occupying his mind – _Was it actually hooking up? It did not feel like it. Was it something else? There surely was affection there. But what kind of affection?_ \- was suddenly interrupted by a loud crash.

“Shit”, he cursed, before saying quickly goodbye to his sister: “Tesoro, something just came up. I'm sorry, I promise I'll write you in the evening, but I really have to go”.

Without waiting for an answer, the young man ended the conversation and run to the kitchen.

“What the hell are you even doing, Jordan?”, he screamed, before realising what was actually happening and moving as fast as he could towards the young man.

 

 

Nicola Formichetti was playing his piano, when his phone suddenly lit up. He initially dismissed it, thinking it was some fan message or the occasional dick pic. When the vibration did not stop, he finally stopped playing to answer.

Needless to say, he picked up as soon as he saw the name on the screen.

“Kiddo, are you okay? What is happening?”, he frantically asked.

They never called each other, they always communicated through messages and occasional emails. Giovanni did not even like to call people on the phone, unless he had to discuss business arrangements. It had to be pretty serious, the designer immediately realised.

“Can you talk to me?”, the younger one was panting, probably holding back tears while loudly blowing his nose.

“What is happening? Kiddo, are you okay?”.

He did not want to convey all the pure panic he was feeling, but he could not stop his voice from sounding so high pitched.

The other one took a deep breath, before answering: “I am at the hospital, with Jordan”, he took a deep breath then he continued: “He had a panic attack and hurt himself”.

Without even thinking twice about it, Nicola asked: “Which hospital, kiddo?”.

Giovanni was probably taken aback by the question, because he waited a couple of seconds before saying: “You don't have to come, really. I shouldn't have bothered you in the first place, sorry”.

The designer was already headed to the door, so he just scoffed.

“Giovanni I am not leaving you in a hospital waiting for a nurse that will probably take her time, okay? Just tell me, kiddo”, he interjected sternly.

The younger one murmured a “Brooklyn Hospital Centre”.

The other one smiled, then he said: “I'm coming to you, kiddo. You're not alone in this”.

He quickly ordered an Uber, thanking God that there was a car available in 5 minutes. He spent the whole drive thinking about possible scenarios, before chastising himself.

“Keep calm”, he murmured to himself, “Just keep calm”.

He arrived to the hospital and immediately run inside, before marching to the desk at the front.

“I'm looking for Jordan Stawecki”, he said, without even greeting the nurse that was sitting in front of him.

Once he got the information he needed, he quickly reached the waiting room hoping to find Giovanni. The young man was in fact sitting on one of those ugly uncomfortable chairs and fidgeting nervously with his phone.

“Kiddo”, he said once he approached him, “Did they tell you anything?”.

The other one denied with a movement of his head, before standing up and hugging him while muffling a soft: “Thanks for coming”.

Nicola hugged him back, before taking a good look at him.

“Tell me what happened”, he then murmured.

Giovanni sighed, before answering.

“I was on the phone with Francesca and suddenly I heard a bang”, he sat on that chair once again, before taking Nicola's hand in his own, “He was in the kitchen, his hand was bleeding and he was not moving. I've seen him having those panic attacks but this was so bad...”.

The older man nodded, before sighing.

“How long have you been waiting?”, he then asked.

The younger man muffled a weak: “I don't know”, before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

The designer nodded once again, before standing up.

“I'm going to get you some water, okay? You need it. Or some tea, maybe”, he stopped for a second just to cross his arms and scold the other one: “This is not up for debate, kiddo. I'll be back in a second”.

While Nicola was gone, Giovanni took his phone out of his pocket and started looking at the string of confused emojis Francesca sent. The last message made him smile despite the moment.

**Francesca, 04:23 pm:** If you don't answer I'll call mum.

**Francesca, 04:23 pm:** For real, Gio...

He started typing an answer, before sighing.

**Giovanni, 04:25 pm:** Jordan hurt himself in the kitchen. I just needed to make sure he's okay. Don't worry about it, tesoro. It's all good.

He put his phone in his pocket, before smiling gratefully at Nicola and taking a paper cup full of tea from his outstretched hand.

“I'm sorry if I interrupted your day off”, the younger man mumbled while sipping his tea, “I panicked and I did not know what to do”.

The other one scoffed fondly, before caressing his side.

“No need to be sorry”, he said, “I'm happy you called”.

Giovanni nodded, before jumping slightly at the vibration of his phone.

“Sorry”, he murmured, before smiling at the sight of the message.

**Francesca, 04:29 pm:** Mum is gonna call you in a couple of hours.

In that exact moment, a nurse called for Giovanni's name.

“You can go to see your friend”, she said and smiled politely, before excusing herself and moving towards another room.

The young man stood up, before biting his lower lip and looking at Nicola with doubt in his eyes.

“What should I say to him?”, he then asked.

The designer put a hand on the other one's shoulder and shrugged.

“Ask him how he's feeling and maybe you can try to talk to him”, he stopped for a second pondering his own words, “Maybe this time it will work”, he finally said.

Giovanni nodded.

“Okay”, he murmured.

The older one smiled softly, before pointing to the chair behind him.

“I'll wait here, okay? You take your time”.

The other one did not object, for once, glad not to be alone in that particular occasion.

“Thank you”, he said softly, before grazing Nicola's lips with a kiss.

 

Maxwell was waiting for Kevin to speak up. He caught him talking to someone and asking himself what could possibly happen if the other one were to discover something. When he asked him, however, the other one said that it was nothing, just a silly banter with a common acquaintance.

“Are you gonna tell me?”, he asked once more, while sipping on his coffee.

His friend sighed and shook his head.

“I told you, it's nothing”, he smiled, “And I promised to keep my mouth shut”.

Max scoffed, before putting the mug on the coffee table.

“You can not keep a secret to save your life, Kev”, he sneered.

The other one shrugged, before mumbling: “I promised”.

There were very few people Kevin would have never betrayed, Maxwell realised, and those people were Caldwell, Giovanni, himself and a few others. _Bingo._

“What did Giovanni say this time, that I should not know?”, he then asked while smirking.

Kevin sighed, before answering: “Why don't you just talk to him instead of pestering me?”.

Out of pure desperation, and maybe a little pettiness, Maxwell took his phone and started typing.

**Miz Cracker, 04:37 pm:** Monét said there is something I should not know. Do you maybe want to talk about it, Giovanni?

He sent it, before showing it to his best friend.

“You are one salty ass bitch, Cracks”, this one said, while the other one smiled proudly.

“ _Game on, kid”,_ he thought to himself.

 


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cookie starts to crumble: Max doubts himself, Giovanni makes a very small move and Monét is caught in the middle of a storm. Special mention to Nicola for being the adult in a room full of children.

_You were broken-hearted and the world was, too_   
_And I was beginning to lose my grip_   
_And I have always held it loosely_   
_But this time I admit_   
_I felt it really start to slip_

_And choir singing in the street_   
_And I will come to you_   
_To watch the television screen_   
_In your hotel room_

_(June, Florence + The Machine)_

 

 

Maxwell Heller had a lot of undeniable qualities.

He surely was smart, had a good grasp on the concept of comedic timing and knew how to produce a show that his fans would enjoy. He could sew a pretty decent garment without losing his mind, _except on Drag Race_ , and he knew how to execute a dance routine or, at least, fake dance skills.

Maxwell was, however, not a patient person. _Not at all._

He loved to say that he did not have the time to wait for anyone, that he was tired of everyone's bullshit or indecisiveness. He wanted people to think he gained enough confidence to know immediately what he wanted. He tried as hard as he could to make them believe he would have never wasted all his time waiting for someone else to show up.

In reality, however, he was afraid. _And he did not like to talk about it._

He spent so much time thinking about all the reason people should have to leave him behind, that he started to internalize those toxic beliefs. He didn't expect anyone to show up for him or to stand up for him either. Instead of talking to someone about it, _about himself,_ he used humor to diffuse tension and to avoid talking about his feelings and insecurities. When accused of stealing Aquaria's looks, he didn't stand up for himself or spoke up, simply trying to chase the feeling away by getting angrier and angrier. _And hiding it under a fabricated wall made of lackluster humor, bitter reads and smiles that looked a lot like sneers._ He was mad at Giovanni, _of course_ : even though they weren't that close anymore, the young man made no attempt whatsoever to save the situation or address the rumors. He was, however, mostly furious at himself because, once again, he was waiting for someone to show up for him when he could barely stand up for himself.

Maxwell Heller was definitely not a patient man: he _craved_ a reaction so bad that the wait was almost painful. Just like seconds before, he glanced at his phone, sighing defeated and mildly frustrated.

**Miz Cracker, 04:37 pm:** Monét said there is something I should not know. Do you maybe want to talk about it, Giovanni? _Read 06:57 pm_

The fact Giovanni had once again not even bothered to give him an answer was driving him crazy. It was like a constant reiteration of the fact that he, Maxwell Heller, was not worth anyone's time.

In that exact moment, Max's phone vibrated.

**Aquaria, 07:02 pm:** I frankly have no idea what you are talking about

**Aquaria, 07:02 pm:** Or Monét, for that matter

**Aquaria, 07:03 pm:** And it's kinda not the right time, right now

He scoffed: that was definitely not the reaction he was hoping for.

“Well fuck it”, he mumbled.

“You okay?”, Katelyn asked from the other side of the living room, evidently taken aback by the other one's words.

The man nodded distractedly.

“Yeah”, he answered before adding: “It's everything good, Katelyn. Don't worry”.

Once again, he fabricated a smile before standing up, taking a good look at his room-mate and declaring: “Okay Katelyn, it's time for dinner!”.

 

When Giovanni exited Jordan's room, the young man looked sad and beaten up.

Nicola immediately stood up, before moving quickly in his direction.

“Kiddo, is everything okay?”, he asked, putting a hand on the younger one's shoulder.

The other one bit his lower lip, before shaking his head.

“Can we please go?”, he murmured weakly, “Please, Nicola”.

He looked so defeated, that the designer decided not to ask any further questions and just nodded.

“Of course, kiddo. Of course”.

They older man put his hand on the other one's back and gently guided him to the exit of the hospital.

“It's gonna be okay”, he murmured.

He quickly hailed a cab and gave the driver Giovanni's address, without leaving his side: he simply sat there, next to him, silent yet present.

_I'm not going anywhere, kiddo._

They entered Giovanni's apartment and were welcomed by the sight of broken glass and some red spots on the floor. Even the faint smell of marijuana was still there.

“Shit, look at the mess”, the younger one murmured, absorbing the desolating view for the very first time.

He was so focused on taking care of Jordan that he didn't even acknowledged the state of the room.

“Go take a shower”, Nicola suggested with a kind smile, “We'll take care of it later, okay?”, he then added pointing at the mess on the floor.

The other one looked at him with disbelief in his eyes, evidently still slightly taken aback by everything that happened. On top of that, he frankly could not believe that the designer would still want to help him, after having spent a whole afternoon sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair.

“Why are you doing this?”, he asked, “I ruined your day off making you wait in the waiting room of a hospital for two hours”, he added, trying to convey all his astonishment.

_Why do you like me, Nicola?_

The other one smiled kindly, before taking a step forward and kissing Giovanni's cheek.

“Go take a shower, kiddo”, he reiterated, “I'll wait here and order dinner, okay? You need to eat something”, he added with a serious yet loving tone.

While the young drag-queen was gone, Nicola took a deep breath.

“Shit”, he murmured.

Giovanni was like a fucking siren, he thought. He was like his personal siren and Nicola, just like any good sailor, could not resist the charm of his voice or the glimpse of his eyes. It was a fucked up power-play and his kiddo, God bless him, was totally unaware of that. He did not even realise the huge amount of power he had or the fact he could have done everything, _literally everything_ , to him and the designer wouldn't have minded. He was going to end up hurt, he realised, and he did not know how to stop all of that.

“I'm officially screwed”, he mumbled, before taking his phone out of his pocket and ordering some soup.

Taking a good look at the kitchen, he decided to try and clean up the floor, doubting Giovanni would have minded him snooping around to look for a mop. He spent quite some time trying to find the younger one's cleaning products and, after a long yet fruitless search, he ended up picking up the glass with a kitchen cloth and dampening another one to clean the blood as best as he could.

“Thanks god those are tiles”, he sighed with relief, “Wooden floors are a bitch to clean”.

“I could have done it”.

Giovanni's voice made him turn around.

“Dinner is on the way”, he announced with a smile, “And yes, you could have done it. However, the lack of cleaning products kinda tells me you would have taken your time”, he then added with a light chuckle.

The silly pout on the other one's face made him laugh affectionately.

In that exact moment, Giovanni's phone rang.

“Sorry”, the younger one murmured, “It's my mum”.

He frowned at the sight of the screen, before taking the call.

“Mamma...”, the designer smiled at the little Italian words the other one sometimes used, before deciding to sit on the couch and wait for him to be finished with the call.

In a couple of minutes, however, Giovanni was back next to him, after having said goodbye to Gina and having sent a couple of texts.

“Sorry, I just needed to get back to someone”, he smiled apologetically, before sitting next to him.

“Do you want to talk about it?”, Nicola asked softly, afraid to destroy the other one newly found inner peace.

The younger one bit his lower lip, before scooting a little closer to him.

“He was still half asleep”, he answered, “So it was kinda useless”.

“I don't think it was useless, kiddo”, the designer looked at him for a second, before putting an arm on his shoulder, “He's just in a difficult place, right now. You have to give him time, but not too much... you know the old adagio”, he finished his sentence with a light chuckle.

Giovanni nodded distractedly, before turning to face him and caressing his jaw.

“Thank you”, he murmured, “Thanks for coming”.

Nicola nodded.

“I could not leave you alone in a cold waiting room”, he murmured with a wink.

The other one sighed, before lowering his gaze.

“What...”, he started to ask, suddenly interrupted by the doorbell.

“Dinner is here”, the older one announced, before standing up and going to answer, “Did you want to say something?”, he then asked with a smile.

“Nothing, I just wanted to ask you what you ordered for dinner”, Giovanni lied with a smile.

 

After dinner, an awkward silence was filling the room. _What are we doing? Is it for real?_

“I should go”, Nicola murmured, “We both have work to do”.

The other one nodded, before standing up and moving to hug the designer.

“Thanks again”, he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

They went to the door and Giovanni took a deep breath before speaking.

“I know we should probably talk about all of this”, he started, “but I kinda need to figure something out and I don't want to hurt you or lose you in the process and I'm just scared and...”.

His rambling was interrupted by a solid, comforting hug. He reciprocated it immediately, somehow not even taken aback by the fact that Nicola _knew_ that he needed it. _That he craved it_.

“You should take care of yourself”, the older one said, “And the rest will fall into place”.

Seeing that his kiddo did not look convinced at all, he chuckled and delicately kissed his cheek, before adding: “I already promised that to you, but it pays to say it once again: I am not leaving you suddenly because you decide to move on. I am not going anywhere, unless you want me to”.

Giovanni nodded, before smiling weakly.

“It really means a lot”, he mumbled.

They parted with a last hug and, when the door closed, the young drag-queen took his phone to look for his last conversation with Kevin. Looking at his friend's name made him feel angry, sad, deceived and unsure. For the first time, Giovanni wasn't sure that he could trust him. _Not anymore. Non after that._ For the umpteenth time, his doubts were having the best of him and his trust issues were resurfacing.

“Shit”, he murmured.

He went to the kitchen, poured himself a glass of water and checked his conversation with Maxwell as well.  
 **Aquaria, 07:02 pm:** I frankly have no idea what you are talking about

**Aquaria, 07:02 pm:** Or Monét, for that matter

**Aquaria, 07:03 pm:** And it's kinda not the right time, right now

_Read, 07:03 pm_

“For fuck's sake Giovanni”, he cursed, before putting the glass in the sink, “Get your self together”.

He decided to start dealing with Kevin first and then, maybe, he could talk to Maxwell. Furiously, he typed a couple of short messages.

**Aquaria, 11:03 pm:** You are fucking unbelievable

**Aquaria, 11:03 pm:** I fucking asked you to keep your mouth shut, Kevin

The string of messages he received felt insincere. He snorted a laugh while typing a quick answer.

**Aquaria, 11:07 pm:** You know what? It's whatever

He was ready for bed when his phone vibrated once more, signalling a message from his friend. He quickly glanced at it, before deciding he might as well leave him on read.

“Whatever”, he murmured.

 

Kevin knew something was definitely up when he did not receive any messages from Giovanni, that afternoon. He expected a message, maybe even a phone call and the silence he got instead made him think something was up with the young man. They had a pretty solid friendship but the possibility of Aquaria giving him some stupid petty sort of silent treatment was even more solid.

He was switching the light off, when he noticed someone sent him a couple of messages.

“Talk about the devil...”, he murmured.

**Aquaria, 11:03 pm:** You are fucking unbelievable

**Aquaria, 11:03 pm:** I fucking asked you to keep your mouth shut, Kevin

The man sighed, before quickly typing an answer.

He had to explain the other one what happened, he realised. There was nothing Kevin could have handled differently, however Giovanni did not know it. Knowing how difficult it was for the young man to open up to people and trust them enough to call them friends, Monét could only assume his friend was feeling betrayed and maybe even sad. Needless to say, he wanted to make things right.

**Monét X-Change, 11:04 pm:** He arrived at my apartment at the wrong time, Giovanni.

**Monét X-Change, 11:04 pm:** You know I would have never told him

**Monét X-Change, 11:05 pm:** Not unless you wanted me to

By the looks of it, the other one was probably typing furiously, then deleting, then typing again.

“Typical”, he chuckled affectionately.

The message he got as a reply made him sigh resignedly.

**Aquaria, 11:07 pm:** You know what? It's whatever.

“Crap”, he murmured, before answering that last message.

**Monét X-Change, 11:08 pm:** Don't do that, kiddo.

**Monét X-Change, 11:09 pm:** You know better.

He then send a message to Maxwell as well, just to express his concern and maybe his anger as well. He was literally caught in the middle of the adult version of a kindergarten fight. He was stuck between a pouty stubborn Brooklyn twink and a grumpy proud Harlem twink.

“This is fucking ridiculous”, he mumbled “Fucking twinks”.

**Monét X-Change, 11:13 pm:** Now Giovanni is mad and I am the one in troubles. This shit is not cool, Cracks. Can't you both act like adults? I swear to God, if you don't fuck at the end of this soap-freaking-opera I will loose my shit.

He switched the light off, before checking on his phone one last time hoping to find a message from Giovanni. He, of course, got none.

_Read, 11:10 pm_

“Shit”, he sighed, then he put the phone down on the bed next to him.

This story was going to be the death of him, he realized.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise it will slowly get better, at some point.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giovanni tries to mend things with Jordan and gets tricked by Shequida. Cracker tries to mend things with Giovanni and Nicola is just the freaking best.

_This is my little farewell song_  
_I just wrote for you_  
_You can listen to it all night long_  
_When I'm on the road_  
_Layin' awake you can't sleep_  
_I hope it kills your bad dreams_  
_Get up and dance_  
_With flowers in your hair_  
_Don't you leave_  
_Most of all don't be afraid to dance_  
_Don't be afraid to dance_  
_This is my little goodbye poem_

_(Laupaire, Flowers)_

 

Giovanni was comfortably lounging on his couch, relieved to be finally home for a handful of days before having to be back on the road. He just finished to watch an old episode of Desperate Housewives, smiling at the fact that Jordan was probably doing the same. Or fucking. Or maybe even both.

 

_After the first night at the hospital, Giovanni went to visit him once again and spent almost an hour simply looking at him, while the other one was sleeping. He had not seen his friend smiling so peacefully in ages, he realised. Months had passed since the last time he saw him looking so happy and content. There were no masks, in that moment: it was raw, fragile and incredibly beautiful to witness._

“ _Stop staring: it's creepy”, Jordan's voice made him jump._

_Busted._

“ _I didn't realise you were awake, sorry”, he murmured, “How are you feeling?”, he asked, trying not to sound too worried, even though he was simply terrified._

_The blonde one chuckled, before wincing slightly because of the pain in the hand._

“ _You should stop worrying about me so fucking much, Giovanni. Really”, he said, turning to face the window._

_The other one sighed, trying to remember his last conversation with Nicola and the words they exchanged._

“ _But I do”, he mumbled, “I do and I don't know what to do to help”._

_He spent the previous night on the phone with Gina. His mother listened to him vent his worries and tried to make him see Jordan's point of view as well. After a good talk with her, the young man wrote a quick message to the designer as well, surprised by the sudden need to keep the contact with the older man alive._

_**Giovanni, 11:47 pm:** I talked to mum and tomorrow I'll go to see Jordan._

_**Giovanni, 11:47 pm:** I'll talk to him and you'll be proud of me._

_The answer he got made him smile fondly._

_**Nicola, 11:49 pm:** I always am._

_**Nicola, 11:50 pm:** Take care of yourself, kiddo. _

“ _Giovanni”, Jordan's tired voice interrupted his friends' train of thoughts, “Just drop it, okay?”._

_The other one sighed once again, before lowering his gaze. He bit his lower lip, before shaking his head._

“ _I can't”, he answered, “I can not and quite frankly I don't even know if I want to”._

_His friend looked at him, before scoffing._

“ _Did you talk to Gina, yesterday?”, he smirked._

_The young queen felt his cheeks starting to redden._

“ _No”, he murmured, before reiterating after a minute: “Okay, maybe”._

_For the first time in what felt like forever, Giovanni saw Jordan smile. It was a real smile, he realised. It was beautiful and pure and so genuine, he thought._

“ _The nurse said you were with an older man”, the blonde's voice was full of playful mischief, “Sugar daddy much?”._

_Giovanni could feel himself blush once again but he tried to maintain some poise nonetheless._

“ _I was with a friend”, he mumbled, “Stop it”._

_The small laugh that escaped the other one's lips made him blush even more._

“ _Stop it”, the young queen whined, before deciding it was time to bite the bullet: “Do you know where you're going to stay, in Los Angeles? What are you going to do? How...?”._

_His questions were interrupted by his friend's words: “Why do you actually care, Giovanni?”._

“ _Because you're my family”._

_There was not an ounce of hesitation in Giovanni's voice._

“ _Because you're my family and I love you, even if you are an irresponsible asshole”, he then reiterated._

_Jordan smiled softly, caught off guard, before answering._

“ _So many words without stuttering or whatnot. I actually am pretty impressed”, he joked._

_That was the thing about Jordan. As much as he professed love on social media and used to send hearts and kissing emojis, he could never really share what was really going on with his feelings. He loathed vulnerability and was afraid of looking anything but perfect and polished. His journey as Aquaria's assistant made him lose contact with himself as much as contact with reality, morphing his life into a constant live show for everyone else's enjoyment. From the naked boys to the strippers to the dark rooms and the excessive consumption of recreational drugs, the young man found himself falling in a dark hole without even realising it. It took a while for Giovanni to call him out on those behaviours and, even after having done that, his friend could not understand the danger of it all._

“ _Jordan, please, can we talk about it?”._

_The blonde man sighed, closing his eyes for a split second._

“ _I'm going to be okay”, he mumbled “It's whatever”._

_Giovanni sighed as well, before reaching to grab his hand._

“ _Can we please talk about it?”, he asked again, before realising he was grabbing the offended hand and quickly letting it go, “Shit, I am sorry”._

_Jordan winced slightly, before smiling bitterly._

“ _Lord knows how you're going to survive, on your own”, he closed his eyes for a second and, without opening them again, he decided to ask: “I really fucked up, didn't I?”._

_The other one smiled softly: it wasn't the progress he wished they would have done, but it was progress nonetheless._

“ _Maybe a little”, he conceded, “But it's just work”._

_They both knew it was a lie: Aquaria was everything Giovanni had. He had worked too much towards his career-goals to have it all destroyed because of the other one's antics. Every single sleepless night, every spared dollar and every fucking tear helped the young queen to make a name for herself, to have it on everyone's lips in NYC, to get the recognition she deserved._

_The fact the young man was willing to let it slide for the time being, however, was a clear sign of his willingness to mend a friendship he clearly cared about. It was a helping hand stretched in Jordan's direction and the other one was no fool: he decided to take it._

“ _God this mysterious man of yours must be really good in bed, if he got you so mushy”._

 

Suddenly, his phone rang interrupting Giovanni's recollection of those recent events.

He sighed, thinking it was his manager calling to inform him that the pause was over and that he had work to do.

“Hallo?”, he answered without even checking the caller's ID.

“Just when I thought you were too cool to answer calls from old friends”, the person on the other line chuckled affectionately, before continuing: “Can I ask for a favour, now that you are famous?”.

“Shequida!”, Giovanni could barely hide his excitement, “How are you? Are you okay?”.

Shequida Hall was one of the first drag queens that decided to give him a chance, back in the days. She somehow managed to really _see_ him. She understood his drive and she appreciated his passion and work ethic. The memories of all the brunches spent dancing, prancing and drinking had always the power to make the young man smile.

“I'm fine lovely, I'm fine”, the other one answered, before clearing his throat, “I need a favour, if you're still in NYC”.

“Of course”, Giovanni answered without hesitation, “What can I do for you?”.

“The host of Barracuda needs a last minute number and I am currently in bed with the flu. I honestly don't think they could pay you as much as...”.

“It's okay, I'll do it”, he interrupted Shequida with a smile already forming on his lips, “Believe it or not I have not been at Barracuda in ages”.

“Are you sure..?”, the older one asked, “Don't you need to speak to your manager or some shit?”.

The other one chuckled.

“I'll deal with him later, no worries”, he then answered.

“Okay, listen...”.

Giovanni's doorbell rang, making him jump slightly.

“Shit, I totally forgot about Linux and her wig”, he cursed under his breath, “Listen, could you please just message me the details? I have to answer the door”.

He hung up without even waiting for Shequida to answer or tell him that, on that very same evening, Miz Cracker was on the bill as well.

 

 

**Monét X-Change, 8:47 pm:** Bitch I am so jealous! I haven't been there in ages!

**Monét X-Change, 8:47 pm:** You'll have to tell me if the hot bartender is still working there..!

**Monét X-Change, 8:48 pm:** I could totally pay him a visit, you know?

Maxwell chuckled at the sight of Kevin's message, clearly amused by his best friend's antics.

He smiled politely at his driver, before entering the car with Katelyn.

“It's been a while”, the young woman smiled, “Are you sure you still know how it's done?”, she chuckled.

The man playfully elbowed her, before adding: “She's always ready!”.

They spent the cab ride listening to the drag queen's mix once again, carefully checking that every single beat was masterfully timed and that the spoken part was witty yet politically relevant.

“They'll love it”, Cracker's assistant smiled, after the track ended, “It's perfect!”, she squealed excited.

They entered through the backdoor and greeted the host, an old friend of Bob.

“Tonight it's all about Drag Race. Your friend is here as well”, the older queen announced, before showing them the dressing room.

“This way, please”.

Puzzled to say the least, the two entered the small room and were immediately welcomed by the rest of the cast.

“Oh shit, Cracker!”.

“Oh my God, it's such an honour!”.

“You are such an inspiration!”.

In that exact moment, the door opened once again and the last performer for the night finally arrived, making Maxwell gasp silently.

Right in front of him, Giovanni was looking at him confused: after weeks spent dancing oddly around the other one, they were finally facing each other.

“Shit”, the younger man murmured quietly, hoping the other one could not hear him.

That detail, Maxwell freaking Heller right in front of him and apparently on the bill for the night, was probably the detail Shequida wanted to share with him at the last minute, he realised.

Trying to look as unbothered as possible, Aquaria quickly turned around and smiled politely at the other queens: “Good evening, ladies! How are we all doing?”.

Sitting in a corner of the room, Giovanni decided to start pinning his already styled wig. Needless to say, the only other free spot was in the other corner of the room and Miz Cracker slowly made her way there.

They could spend the whole evening being professional and very _very_ detached, the younger queen thought. They could do their numbers, make the crowd go wild and then go home. They could.

“Aquaria”, Katelyn's voice made the young queen jump, “Sorry, can we borrow some wig glue from you?”.

The tentativeness in the young woman's voice made him flinch slightly. What the hell was happening? Why were they walking on eggshells?

_Shit. This is ridiculous._

Giovanni quickly took a small bottle out of his beauty case and passed it to the woman.

“Here you go”, he smiled at her.

In that exact same moment, his phone vibrating signalling a text.

**Nicola, 9:13 pm:** Moschino sent the dress.

**Nicola, 9:13 pm:** I mean THE dress.

Giovanni smiled, after having read it. He quickly typed an answer, deciding to play dumb.

**Giovanni, 9:15 pm:** OMG, you mean the jellyfish one? I'm so so jealous!

**Giovanni, 9:15 pm:** But is it going to fit? Not fatshaming you, but still :P

He giggled, waiting for an outraged reply that did not come.

**Nicola, 9:16 pm:** Well, I think the model I have in mind will be able to wear it without ripping the fabric. Hint hint.

Giovanni read the message a couple of times, smiling from ear to ear. The prospect of one of their plans becoming a reality seemed too good to be real.

**Giovanni, 9:18 pm:** Wait.

**Giovanni, 9:18 pm:** For real?

**Giovanni, 9:18 pm:** For like real real?

**Giovanni, 9:19 pm:** Oh my God! Yes please

The answer he got, however, was not the one he was hoping for.

**Nicola, 9:20 pm:** Yeah, James should be able to wear it nicely.

He sighed, clearly disappointed by Nicola's reply. They discussed the possibility of a collaboration for the designer's Youtube channel and spent a good afternoon in bed, looking at designers and hypothetical looks. Giovanni spent a good hour looking at the other one sketch, before taking his notepad, putting it on the bedside table and kissing him softly.

“Why?”, Nicola asked.

“Because you were too beautiful to handle”, he replied blushing and trying to hide it by turning on the side and getting up: “I have to go”.

A second vibration signalled a second message.

**Nicola, 9:23 pm:** You know I am kidding, kiddo. Don't even try it.

He scoffed and furiously replied.

**Giovanni, 9:24 pm:** I thought I was being replaced! Not cool :(

The host signalled for Maxwell and himself to follow her and Giovanni quickly made his way to the other corner of the room.

“You'll be the two last numbers, okay?”, she asked, “I want people to gag”, she then explained with a wink.

“She's gag-worthy!”, Miz Cracker high pitched voice made the older queen giggle, while Aquaria just nodded with a polite smile and a soft: “Of course”.

_Shit. Lord knows how this is going to turn out._

 

The crowd absolutely went ballistic at the sight of Miz Cracker and Aquaria. They started screaming, chanting and pushing each other in order to reach the front of the stage and hand their tips to the two queens. Giovanni just finished to dance and lip-synch when he noticed that Katelyn was looking for someone around the club.

“Are you okay?”, he asked, curios about the young woman's antics.

She smiled softly, before answering: “I was looking for you, actually. I am going home but Maxwell needs to ask you something. He's at the bar, if you have the time”.

Trying to smile, the younger one nodded politely.

“I'll just go and get changed”, he answered.

He quickly made his way to the dressing room, realising that he could not just untuck and go home as he previously planned. He grabbed his phone and quickly typed a message

**Giovanni, 11:23 pm:** I have to talk to someone and I don't want to

He read what he just wrote and cringed.

“Get yourself together, Giovanni”, he murmured.

Having said that, he quickly deleted the message and started again.

**Giovanni, 11:23 pm:** I should talk to an old friend but I don't really know where we stand.

He deleted once again and decided to change receiver all together.

**Aquaria, 11:24 pm:** Cracker wants to talk to me.

The answer he got made him scoff.

**Monét X-Change, 11:24 pm:** It was about fucking time!

**Monét X-Change, 11:24 pm:** The first born could be called Kevin the Great

Giovanni sneered, before noticing Maxwell entering the dressing room and quickly typing a short message.

**Aquaria, 11:25 pm:** Got to go. Bye.

He turned to face the other man, putting his phone on the vanity in front of him.

“Can I help you?”, he asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

The older man nodded, before stepping forward and closing the door behind you.

“We need to talk”, he said and the firmness in his tone made Giovanni shiver.

Aquaria nodded, before moving to sit on the vanity.

“Talk, then”, he murmured, hoping not to sound too defensive, “I am listening, Maxwell”.

The other one smiled.

 

The day after, while exiting Maxwell's apartment in Harlem, Giovanni's phone vibrated.

**Nicola, 6:43 am:** Sorry for the early call but I wanted to ask you something.

**Nicola, 6:43 am:** Are you free next WE?

**Nicola, 6:44 am:** I have a little surprise for a fellow monster like you, if you know what I mean.

Attached, the photo of a VIP pass for “Enigma” was elegantly put next to a champagne glass.

One last message made him wince.

**Nicola, 6:45 am:** I mean, no pressure. I just thought you might like it.

He sighed, before typing an answer.

**Giovanni, 6:46 am:** It's perfect. Like really perfect.

**Giovanni, 6:46 am:** I don't know what to say.

“I really don't know”, he murmured, ignoring the fact that there were people around.

**Nicola, 6:47 am:** Say that you don't have to fly to Europe right on that day and meet me in the hotel's lobby, kiddo.

**Nicola, 6:47 am:** But again, no pressure. I can invite James Charles if you have to work.

He scoffed, before trying to reply something witty and hiding the sheer panic he was feeling at the same time.

**Giovanni, 6:48 am:** No way. You're way too old for him.

**Giovanni, 6:48 am:** (You're not, but he's way too young for you)

In that exact moment, trying to fight that sudden jealousy weirdly mixed with shame and regret, the young man realised something: that all madness, that all _freaking_ parade, had been a huge, gigantic mistake.

“Shit”, he sighed, before dialling his mother's phone number.

“Honey, are you okay?”, the woman answered on the second ring.

_Hell if I know._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very very late to the party, but traveling across Europe kinda got in the way. Just know that I had to phisically force myself to post this, fully aware I could have written a better chapter if I had the time.  
> As you may have realised, we are slowly approaching the end of "Exercise in Folly". Be patient and everything will hopefully make sense.


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Giovanni recollects the memories of his talk with Maxwell, Katelyn drops bombs and Monét is having a good laugh.

_I believed in you_   
_Well, I was wrong_   
_I believed you'd make me better_   
_I was wrong_   
_I believed you'd shine your light and save my world_   
_Like Superman or God_   
_I believed in you_   
_Well, I was wrong_   
_(I believed in you, Skunk Anansie)_

 

Sitting on his couch, after a long phone-call with Gina and a well deserved cup of tea, weirdly awake despite the lack of sleep, Giovanni was trying to recollect everything that happened at the club and, after that, at Maxwell's.

 

_They were awkwardly standing next to the vanity, looking at each other and waiting for the other one to talk._

„ _What did you want to talk about?“, Giovanni asked, just to fill that awkward silence._

_Maxwell chuckled, before lowering his gaze._

„ _You know it, Giovanni“, he answered with a smile._

_Taking a closer look at that smile, the younger man could pinpoint bitterness,sadness and maybe even regret. He sighed, before nodding._

„ _Let's talk, then“, he conceded, then he moved towards the small sofa in a corner of the room._

_In that exact same moment, the club manager entered the room to look for one of the local queens._

„ _Have you seen her?“._

_They shook their heads, before smiling apologetically._

„ _Do you want to head to mine?“, Maxwell asked, before quickly correcting himself: „Not like that! Because of the noise! I mean, we could totally scream but...“._

_Giovanni chuckled, before answering with a smile._

„ _Your place is okay“, he stopped for a second, then he added: „If we won't bother Katelyn“._

_The other one shook his head quickly, before saying: „She'll be fast asleep, trust me. I could go missing while we are on tour and she wouldn't even flinch“._

_They ordered an Uber, before packing their stuff and unpinning their wigs._

„ _You can remove your make-up at mine“, the older one suggested._

_While waiting outside the club, they didn't exchange any further small pleasantries: both of them were lost in thoughts and could not vocalise them without sounding mentally unstable. When the car arrived, they both climbed in and Maxwell gave the address to the driver._

_Harlem was awfully chipper even at that time of night, Giovanni noticed while exiting the car and thanking the driver with a polite smile. There were people chatting on the fire escapes and children screaming at the top of their lungs, he realised before following the other one inside one of the buildings._

„ _This way“, Maxwell murmured and turned left to approach the elevator, „At least this time it's working“, he proceeded to comment with a light chuckle._

_They quietly entered the apartment, trying not to disturb Katelyn's sleep._

„ _Can I offer you something?“, the older man asked, indicating the kitchen with a nod._

„ _Some water would be nice“, Giovanni answered, then he started to look around._

_It was almost like the apartment he used to visit when they were friends. Closer friends, he automatically corrected himself. There were the same sparkly decorations and the curtains that once used to be in the sitting room now were used in the kitchen. The old pictures of Max and his family were still hanging and a couple of fan arts made their way to the walls as well._

„ _Here you go“, Maxwell gave him a glass full of water, before taking a sip of his soda._

„ _Thanks“, the younger one murmured, before motioning to the sofa, „Can we sit down?“._

_They sat down, both awkwardly quiet._

_There was uncertainty, in that silence, and the weird perception that everything was about to shift in an unknown direction that they both had to discover._

_Giovanni decided to bite the bullet, surprising the other one._

„ _Okay, let's do this“, he murmured,“What do you want to talk about? I mean, we could sit here for ages...“, he chuckled lightly, trying to ease the tension he felt creeping on him, „We could talk about our friendship, or lack there of, about your reaction video or about drag and Monét X-Change. As you can see, we have plenty of stuff to cover“._

_Maxwell sighed, before nodding._

„ _You have a point“, he admitted, „Well, I guess we can start from the beginning. I never understood what went down with you. One day you were one of the closest friends I had, the next one you barely messaged me back“._

_The younger one sighed, already weirdly irritated, before remembering one conversation he had with Nicola a couple of weeks prior._

„ _Never let anger dominate you. It always ends badly to say the very least“, the designer once told him, before handing him a mug full of green tea “Drink some tea and wait some more”, he suggested with a wink, “That's how the Germans say”._

_He took a deep breath, before putting the glass on the floor and closing his eyes for a second._

„ _I think you don't realise how messed up our dynamic became, after a while.“, he tried to explain it as best as he possibly could, without getting lost in his own emotions, „At the beginning, you're right, we were the best of friends. We were there for each other, we made costumes together and trips to the fabric store.“._

_Maxwell smiled at the memory of the other one holding a huge bag full of sequins and jersey, sitting on that very same couch._

„ _Then you started shading me at every occasion you got“, Giovanni continued, barely noticing the confused look on the other one's face, „The Facebook posts, the subtle digs at your shows and all that shit. Oh, and of course the whole Elliot situation“._

„ _I didn't...“ the older one started, trying to defend himself, but he was quickly interrupted again._

„ _I am not finished“, the coldness in the younger one's voice made him wince, „I would have never ever done that to you. Because regardless of what you thought of me as a person, it was fucking cruel. I was in the darkest of places, I wanted to quit everything and go away and I felt like every single dig Elliot threw at me was justified.“, he made a small pause to catch his breath, before continuing: „I looked up at you so much, you know? And I felt like shit“._

_Maxwell nodded, trying to recollect his own perception of that particular occurrence and realising it was definitely different from what might have been perceivable from the outside._

„ _I'm sorry“, he mumbled, „You were so focused on your career that I thought you were just too nice to let me down. You were always working, always partying and I felt left out“._

_The other one snorted._

„ _For Christ's sake“, he sneered, slowly losing contact with the matter of things and letting his emotions get the best of him, „Stop playing so fucking innocent, Maxwell. Stop pushing the blame on me for fucking everything up“._

_That was a side of Giovanni that the older one never got to see. Somehow, he always thought of him as the young man chronically incapable of putting a handful of words together. In the back of his mind, he was the sweet lovely goof that spent hours listening to him rant about politics while cooking. In his memories, there was not this readiness not to take anyone's bullshit and the anger he felt coming from the young man was something he only even associated with Aquaria. Not with Giovanni. It was almost like his drag persona morphed into this beautiful breathtaking man, little by little, giving him confidence, strength and maybe even a purpose. For the first time in forever, Maxwell Heller realised they were more different than he though and, most of all, that they had grown apart. The sudden realisation made him wince._

_The older one took a deep breath, before starting again._

„ _Okay, let's just calm down for a second“, he tried, then he took a deep breath and continued: „I didn't mean to blame you for us growing apart. I was just trying to tell you how I was feeling and it came out horribly wrong“._

_The other one nodded, before taking another sip of water._

„ _I am sorry if it came out wrong, okay?“, Maxwell murmured, „I'm just trying to make you see my point of view“._

_Giovanni nodded distractely, closing his eyes for a second. He should have seen this, he realised. He was so focused on the mental image he had of Maxwell, that he never took the time to actually see him for the person that he was. He spent so many hours romanticising his words and justifying his actions that he never took his time to actually get to know him again. It was sad, the young man thought, because he suddenly noticed all those changes that always were there for him to witness. To be completely honest, he didn't even know if he liked this new Max._

„ _I should have been a better friend when you and Elliot broke up“, the older one said, „But you seemed so unfazed that I thought you did not even care that much. You know?“._

„ _You could have asked, Maxwell“, was the reply he got, „Because I was lost and scared and felt fucking alone“._

_The defensiveness Maxwell could detect in the other one's voice was so extreme, that the older man sincerely doubted their talk could go far._

„ _Well, I guess...“ he tried, not knowing what to say next, „I guess the whole twin fiasco kinda makes sense, now“._

_Giovanni was about to reply when the door opened, making the other two jump slightly._

„ _What are you two doing here?“, Katelyn asked, trying to sound as casual as possible, „Oh my God, did I interrupt something?“._

„ _I thought you were already in bed“, her room-mate said, evidently surprised._

„ _I'm going right now, momma“, the young woman scoffed, „Have a good night, ladies“._

_When the door to her room closed, the other two took a second to look at each other._

„ _That was weird“, the younger man noticed, before standing up: „Maybe I should go?“, he asked._

„ _We're nowhere near finished“, Maxwell replied, before correcting himself: „Okay, that sounded better in my mind“._

_The light chuckle he got as an answer made him smile: maybe there was a way to go. Maybe._

„ _Wanna talk about twin-gate?“ he asked, trying to sound as light-hearted as he possibly could._

_The other one shrugged, before replying: „I guess...“._

„ _I have to admit, it was fun at the beginning“, the older man started, smiling softly: „I liked being somehow next to you, if you know what I mean“._

_Giovanni nodded._

„ _Yeah“, he answered, „Because we were close enough to appreciate the similarities and work on improving the rest, I guess“, he shrugged._

_Were._

_Maxwell winced a little, before continuing._

„ _Then it kinda got bad“, he mumbled, „You started taking it personally and I didn't...“._

„ _Well, given how shitty of a friend you were, can you actually blame me?“, the younger man's voice was cold and distant._

_He was trying to protect himself, the other one realised, he was being defensive for the sake of not hurting any longer. It was heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. It was a gorgeous surreal painting unfolding right in front of him._

„ _Okay, I kinda see your point“, he muttered, „And then Drag Race came“._

_Giovanni flinched but nodded nonetheless._

„ _I have to be honest“, Maxwell started, „At the beginning I kinda thought you were doing it for screen time. Because I knew how smart you were, and I guessed you talked to Sharon Needles about filming and stuff“._

_Taking the other one's silence as an invitation to continue, the older man tried to explain himself further._

„ _I guess I should have seen how much pressure you felt after the whole mess with Vixen but at first I didn't realise it“, he added with an apologetic smile, „I kinda got it when everything unfolded“._

_Still no reaction._

„ _I'm grateful we didn't make it into a storyline, though“, he commented, before turning to face the other one and noticing that he seemed lost in thoughts: „Are you okay, Giovanni?“, he asked._

_Giovanni nodded, before taking a deep breath._

„ _Sure“, he murmured, „It's just... it's like...“, Maxwell smiled at the stumbling, clearly relieved to see that side of the other one, „It's just sad, I guess“._

_The other one nodded: „I know“._

„ _I mean“, the younger one started, „We could have done so much better, you know? It's like...“, he took another deep breath then explained himself further: „It's like we forgot all those days spent together and went for a story that was not ours. If that makes sense“, he finished with a puzzled look._

„ _Yeah, I kinda get it“, Maxwell sighed, „But hey, you won“._

_Giovanni stared at him for a handful of seconds, before commenting: „Well, you did not seem thrilled about it“._

_The other one nodded._

„ _True“, he admitted, „Can you blame me? I mean, we both really wanted that“._

_No answer. Again._

„ _You know how much I wanted that title, for fuck's sake“, Maxwell was starting to get annoyed, without really understanding the reason behind said sentiment._

_It wasn't like his reaction was the worst thing that ever happened to a Drag Race contestant, he thought. Yeah, he wanted the crown to stay in New York and yes, he said: „Aquaria, bring home the crown“ but blaming him for being human was excessive._

„ _You know, I never wanted to see that video“, Giovanni's voice made the other one jump slightly, „Because I didn't want to question you as a friend and as a sister. Then I saw it and I felt so fucking stupid“, he continued, „It felt like I didn't know you. It felt like I believed in fairy tales the whole fucking time. Like the Maxwell I loved didn't even exist“._

_The last words made the older queen sigh: it was painful to hear. It was fucking painful to hear it from a man he liked in ways he could not even explain to himself. That he didn't want to explain to himself._

„ _I understand“, he replied nonetheless, „Is that the reason you avoided me like the plague and stopped talking to Kevin as well?“._

„ _Leave Kevin out of it“, Giovanni snapped, before turning to face him: „I literally didn't know what to say. It was fucking cruel and unnecessary and, worst of it all, it was not your fault. Not the second time around“._

_Maxwell nodded._

„ _I'm sorry nonetheless“, he sighed, suddenly feeling defeated, „I should have talked to you the moment that video became public and I didn't. I just thought you were this unfazed person and I dismissed the whole thing“._

_Giovanni nodded, before passing him the empty glass._

„ _Could I have another glass of water?“, he asked._

_The other one smiled and stood up._

„ _Of course“, he murmured, before moving towards the kitchen._

_The younger man took his phone out of his pocket and quickly sent a message._

_**Giovanni, 2:27 am:** I am sitting here with Cracker and I suddenly realised he's not the man I thought I fell in love with. It's weird, you know? It's sad and liberating and I feel so fucking stupid because I literally lost so much time running behind a ghost. Skype tomorrow?_

_He got an answer in matter of seconds, the content of which made him chuckle affectionately._

_**Jordan, 2:28 am:** I haven't understood a single word, bitch. Skype in the morning. Call me when you're up._

„ _Is everything okay?“, Maxwell's voice interrupted the younger one train of thoughts._

_Giovanni nodded._

„ _Yeah, sure“, he answered, then he took the glass from the other one's hand and drank a small sip of water, „Thanks“, he murmured, before asking: „Where were we?“._

„ _My seemingly inelegant reaction to your winning“, the older one answered, trying to humour the other one._

„ _Maxwell...“._

„ _Listen“, ha started, „I can not turn back in time. I wish I could but I can not. I can not be a better friend that tells you that fucking Alexis Stones is a terrible idea. I also can not react differently to you winning Rupaul freaking Drag Race. I wish but I can't“._

_Giovanni looked at him and smiled weakly._

„ _I know that we can not go back“, he murmured._

„ _But we can go forward, goddammit!“._

_The answer he got was so over the top that he could not stop himself from giggling._

„ _I guess so“, he then conceded with a small smile._

_Following his instinct, Maxwell moved forward and opened his arms to hug the other one, that took just a handful of seconds before reciprocating._

„ _He better treats you right“, he murmured, „This man of yours better treats you right or he'll have to pay for that Stones as well“, he finished without letting the other one go._

_The younger man looked at him, slightly taken aback._

„ _Kevin didn't say anything“, the other one quickly assured, „But you look happier than I have seen you in a while. And you have a nasty hickey that you proudly showed to Barracuda, earlier“._

_Giovanni blushed._

„ _Hickey?!“, he screeched, „I'm gonna kill him“, then he realised that he was made fun of and lightly shoved Maxwell, while muttering: „Bitch, you're a fucking bitch“._

_The older one smiled, before saying: „Wanna watch a movie? I doubt I'll be able to sleep“._

_The other one nodded, before murmuring: „Only if I get a blanket as well“._

_They spent the following three hours wrapped up in a blanket, munching on cheap popcorns and giggling. When Giovanni left, Max was fast asleep and softly snoring._

_He was closing the entrance door, when Katelyn's voice made him turn to face the young woman._

„ _Aquaria“, she called him, „Giovanni, wait a second“._

„ _Is everything okay, Katelyn?“, he asked genuinely curious, then he look at her with worry on his face and added:, „Were we loud?“._

_The woman shook her head, before smiling softly._

„ _I could not sleep and kinda eavesdropped a little“, she confessed, „And I just wanted to say that I am proud of you both. I know you kinda liked him, and that he likes you. The way you handled matters is very honourable“, she finished, completely unaware of the real meaning of her words._

_The other one nodded with a weak smile and kissed her on the cheek._

„ _Goodnight Katelyn“, he murmured, before exiting and closing the door behind him_

_He needed to call Gina, he realised._

 

His phone vibrating, interrupting his daydreaming.

He smiled at the sight of Jordan's name.

**Jordan, 8:23 am:** Bitch, you awake?

**Jordan, 8:24 am:** I just arrived home. Don't ask. Skype this afternoon?

He giggled, then he replied with a single thumb up.

Checking his messages, he decided to write a quick note to Kevin.

**Aquaria, 8:25 am:** You knew it, right?

The other one was already awake, because he answered almost immediately.

**Monét X-Change, 8:26 am:** Oh my God you fucked!

**Monét X-Change, 8:26 am:** Please tell me you used protections! I am too young to be an uncle

Giovanni smiled, before typing.

**Aquaria, 8:28 am:** Nope. There was no sex. But we talked a little.

**Aquaria, 8:28 am:** A lot, actually.

Kevin's message made him roll his eyes.

**Monét X-Change, 8:29 am:** That sounds sexy! :D

Scoffing, he started to type.

**Aquaria, 8:31 am:** It wasn't. But it was nice. I think we needed it, you know? I personally needed it. I don't know where our friendship is headed but it's looking good. Did you know that he likes me? Katelyn dropped the bomb.

**Aquaria, 8:32 am:** (Max doesn't know that I know, keep your mouth sealed)

A handful of seconds after, Giovanni's phone started vibrating rhythmically, signalling an incoming call.

„You're so fucking oblivious“, Kevin screeched, without even greeting him.

The other man scoffed, before replying: „Good morning to you too Kevin. I'm doing good, thanks for asking“.

The loud cackle he received as an answer was enough to make him continue.

„I literally had no idea“, he said, before explaining himself further: „I mean, after the whole twin fiasco and that freaking video could you blame me?“.

Kevin sneered.

„God, you are so oblivious it hurts! I mean, we all knew you liked each other... even Eureka asked me what was popping“, the man cackled.

Giovanni took a second to process what the other one was saying.

„Oh my God“, he sighed, „Please tell me you didn't feed any kind of rumours! Kevin I beg of you...“.

The cackle grew louder.

„No, bitch“, the older queen answered after a while, „But we were all wondering why the both of you never talked about it“.

„Oh“.

The dumbfounded answer only contributed to Kevin's hilarity.

„You're so in your own world, Gio“, he commented with clear affection in his voice.

„We didn't talk about it, by the way. Katelyn dropped the bomb“, the other one explained, „But I realised something. Something important, I guess“.

„And what would it be?“, Kevin asked.

Giovanni smiled but the answer he wanted to give to his friend was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

„Sorry, but I have to go. I'll tell you that another time“, he answered, before quickly ending the phone call, „Love you, bye!“.

When he opened the door, letting Ty in, the young man received a message that made him smile.

**Miz Cracker, 9:27 am:** Thanks for the talk. I think it's safe to assume we both needed it. And we both can grow from that. Looking forward to many many more!

Another message came in.

**Miz Cracker, 9:27 am:** Sorry for falling asleep, by the way. Grandma needed some rest!

He giggled, before putting his phone down.

 

A couple of moments later, in Harlem, Katelyn entered the kitchen just to find Maxwell smiling fondly while drinking coffee.

„Max“, she started with tentativeness in her voice, „I have to tell you something. But promise you won't get mad!“.

The man looked at her, clearly confused.

„What happened? Please tell me you're not pregnant!“, he chuckled, trying to diffuse the panic he felt creeping on him.

„Before Giovanni went home, we had a little talk“, she confessed, fidgeting nervously with her phone.

„I don't like the sound of it“, the man sighed, „What happened?“.

The woman sighed as well, before murmuring: „He knows“.

_Shit._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was somehow challenging. As someone who is blessed enough to be able to write outside the fanwork world (in her own language, which is not this one. And I guess it shows at least a little bit) I never had to deal with readers' expectations. I could project my vision and be happy and fullfilled about it.   
> This time around, I wanted to challenge myself a little more (hence the english language, f.e.) while not conforming to those preconceived expectations of "happily ever after", "neverending romance", "lovelovelove". I wanted to portray a platonic relationship that grows despite the lack of communication and that ceases to exist when the real people (and not their projections) come to play. I wanted to show a maybe more "mature" (I don't particularly like the world but we'll go with that) story, where there is heartbreak but there is also resolution and it is not the resolution one would canonically expect. It's the resolution the carachters need. I also wanted to play with the concept of romance and open it a little bit for interpretation, before wrapping it all up.  
> Hopefully you'll enjoy it even without the canonical Craquaria. And if you do not, don't worry: the end is near (two chapters, I think). Thanks for stopping by, lovelies!


	10. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations can be hard, but the outcome can be surprising at times.  
> AKA: Giovanni doubts, Nicola is scared, Lady Gaga singsongs and Sharon would love some explanations, thank you very much.

_Maybe it's time to let the old ways die_  
_It takes a lot to change a man_  
_Hell, it takes a lot to try_  
_Maybe it's time to let the old ways die_  
_(Maybe it's time, Bradley Cooper)_

 

„Here we are, Sir“.

The voice of the taxi driver interrupted Giovanni's train of thoughts. The young man smiled, paid him and exited the car.

“Thanks a lot, have a nice day!”, he said, before taking his small carry-on and making his way to the front door of the hotel.

Right next to the entrance, Nicola was waiting for him with a kind smile on his lips.

Taking a good glance at him, the younger one asked himself how did he manage never to notice how effortlessly handsome he looked.

“Look who's finally decided to show up”, the designer chuckled, then he reached for the other one's baggage and opened the door: “After you, kiddo”.

When Giovanni was presented with the possibility of watching Enigma, he immediately started looking for a way to quickly arrive in Las Vegas and, of course, for a place to stay. He did not expect Nicola to have thought about anything except the VIP-Ticket but, as it turned out, the older man had already something on his mind. Even in that particular occasion, even after having done so much for him, the designer had turned out to be so incredibly caring and giving, that the younger one was left speechless once again. Smiling, Giovanni thought back at their message exchange and at the warmth he felt when he read _that_ message.

 

_Giovanni was comfortably lounging on his sofa, browsing the internet to find an accommodation for his weekend in Las Vegas. He remembered the city to be quite big and, even after having performed there a couple of times, he did not really have a good grasp on its topography. He scrolled a couple of nice looking apartments, quickly realising that he didn't know where Nicola was staying. What if he ended up in the middle of nowhere, hours away from the other one? Putting his laptop on the small table in front of him, the young man quickly typed a message for the designer._

_**Giovanni, 9:36 am:** Do you have any recommendations regarding an hotel or an AirBnB for this WE?_

_The short answer that he received made him sigh. What if he was bothering him?_

_**Nicola, 9:38 am:** Kiddo..._

_Giovanni quickly answered, hoping not to sound too desperate or God forbid needy for his own good._

_**Giovanni, 9:38 am:** I know I am always asking and you surely have better things to do but I don't want to end up on the opposite side of town._

_**Giovanni, 9:39 am:** And you perfectly know that it would happen._

_Once again, the young man got an unusually short yet cryptic answer._

_**Nicola, 9:39 am:** Giovanni..._

_He bit his lower lip, while typing a quick couple of messages._

_**Giovanni, 9:40 am:** Please, pretty please. :(_

_**Giovanni, 9:40 am:** I won't bother you any more after that, I promise. I will sit in a corner and you won't even notice my dumb self._

_This time, Nicola took his time to answer and, when he was done, Giovanni could not help but smile affectionately. That was the Nicola he grew to adore, that was_ his _Nicola._

_**Nicola, 9:41 am:** Giovanni, listen to me. Just listen for a second, okay?_

_**Nicola, 9:41 am:** My hotel room is big enough for two people, you don't need to book a room or else._

_**Nicola, 9:42 am:** Unless sharing it makes you feel uncomfortable, of course_

_**Nicola, 9:42 am:** Because in that case I can send you the address and you can book something in the area._

_**Nicola, 9:43 am:** No pressure._  
  
_After having taken a deep breath, the young man answered with a couple of short messages, before turning to his laptop and closing the website he was looking at._

_**Giovanni, 9:44 am:** I don't know what to say..._

_**Giovanni, 9:44 am:** That sounds like a lovely idea and I'd love to._

_**Giovanni, 9:44 am:** Thank you thank you thank you._

_**Giovanni, 9:45 am:** Really, Nicola. Thank you._

_While he was still smiling like a fool, Nicola sent him one last message._

_**Nicola, 9:45 am:** Anytime, kiddo. Anytime. I'll see you soon!!!_

“ _I am so screwed”, he murmured, after having locked his phone._  
  
_Funnily enough, there was nothing but affection in those last words._

  
They made their way to the elevator and, when the doors closed, the younger man took his time to hug the other one.

“Thanks for having me”, he added with a sincere smile, “It really means a lot”.

Nicola smiled as well, before moving forward and kissing him on the cheek.

“I would say anytime, kiddo”, he chuckled, “But we both know Enigma is kind of an exceptional thing”.

They laughed quietly, then Giovanni took the other one's hand and squeezed it lightly.

“Thanks nonetheless”, he murmured, “Sorry for panicking yesterday”, he continued, clearly embarrassed.

The other one laughed quietly, before opening the door of the room.

_  
The day before, just when he thought he was done with packing his bags, the young queen was presented with the umpteenth doubt about the upcoming experience in Las Vegas. He gave a quick look at the content of his carry-on, noticed the lack of sequins and sparkle and was presented with a question he didn't bother to ask in the first place._

“ _Shit”, he mumbled, before closing the trolley and starting pacing around his bed, “You are a freaking idiot, Giovanni Palandrani”._

_Panicking, he decided to bite the bullet, swallow some pride and write Nicola in the hopes of a quick answer._

_**Giovanni, 8:47 pm:** Nicola! _

_**Giovanni, 8:47 pm:** NICOLA_

_**Giovanni, 8:48 pm:** NICOLA FORMICHETTI_

_Probably alarmed, the older man answered with the most obvious question._

_**Nicola, 8:50 pm:** Kiddo are you okay?_

_**Nicola, 8:50 pm:** What happened?_

_Oblivious to the sincere concern in the other one's voice, Giovanni started writing furiously._

_**Giovanni, 8:51 pm:** I am an idiot_

_**Giovanni, 8:51 pm:** I totally forgot to ask you and now I'm gonna make an ass of myself and embarrass you and it's gonna be a disaster_

_The designer answered as quickly as he probably could, but even that wasn't enough to calm him down a little._

_**Nicola, 8:52 pm:** Slow down. What happened?_

_He furiously typed an answer, trying to (and failing at) being clear and concise._

_**Giovanni, 8:52 pm:** Do I have to be Aquaria? I mean it would be totally fine but I didn't ask you and now I can't put the best of looks together and I will look absolutely terrible and you're gonna avoid me like the plague and I am an idiot and I am so so so sorry._

_Nicola started typing, leaving the other one waiting for a minute that felt excruciatingly long. Once again, the answer he received made Giovanni smile fondly and tear up a little bit._

_**Nicola, 8:53 pm:** Okay, stop typing for a minute and listen to me._

_**Nicola, 8:54 pm:** I invited you, and as far as I know you are both Giovanni and Aquaria. You can come to the concert as Giovanni or you can enjoy it as Aquaria. I don't care, because I appreciate both and because, again, you are both. There is no need to panic or to impress anyone and trust me when I tell you that they will be impressed nonetheless. So, I guess the bottom line is that you can come as whoever makes you feel more comfortable, no apologies needed._

_**Nicola, 8:56 pm:** (Also: your lack of punctuation is worrying me)_

_The last message made him scoff and cringe at the same time. The designer probably thought he was an illiterate child that knew nothing about commas, he realised. He quickly typed a short answer._

_**Giovanni, 8:57 pm:** Okay._

_Reading the two messages he got a couple of seconds later, Giovanni found himself blushing._

_**Nicola, 8:58 pm:** Don't be embarrassed, kiddo. I've seen worst._

_**Nicola, 8:59 pm:** And don't deny it. It was actually pretty cute._

_He was in so much trouble, he realised. Weirdly enough, he didn't care that much._

  
  
The room was, indeed, huge. There was even a small kitchen and a nicely furnished lounge area, where Giovanni immediately saw a scrapbook left open on the sofa. The pages were full of doodles and little sketches, he noticed with a fond smile.

“Welcome, kiddo”.

Nicola smiled as well and took a silly bow and the younger one, without even thinking too much about it, moved to hug him once more. It was something new, for him. After months spent trying to get comfortable with the often exaggerated closeness of his fans, the young man finally made an effort to separate the two kinds of physical contact. Aquaria's hugs were not the same as Giovanni's hugs, for instance, and the latter was more than happy to melt in the designer's embrace, even if it lasted just a handful of seconds. There was a weird sense of protection and the scary yet exciting sensation of feeling _right at home_ in those arms. It was something unexpected, new and welcome all at once and the young man, bless his heart, was enjoying every single second of it. As Jordan told him the day before, amused by the double meaning of the world “fuck”: “In whichever way you're looking at it, you're royally fucked, bitch”.

“Tea?”, Nicola asked with a kind smile.

Giovanni nodded, reciprocating the smile, before moving towards the balcony.

“Do you mind if I take a look outside?”, he asked, then made his way outside and started observing the slightly excessive decorations of the city.  
  
Las Vegas was like a carousel for adults, he realised, hollow yet attractive and full of empty promises. You could lose yourself there, following the pale ghost of an aspiration you didn't even realise you had.

In a handful of seconds, he was sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and a relaxed smile on his lips.

“You have seen the chairs, right?”, Nicola chuckled, two mugs of green tea in his hands.

“Believe it or not, every once in a while I enjoy sitting on the floor”, he answered, before opening his eyes and trying to adjust to the light, “Airports are the exception”.

The older man nodded, before joining him.

“Well, let's see if it's really so enjoyable”, he murmured, then took a sip of tea.

“Thanks”, Giovanni said, before taking a sip as well and smiling: “You'll have to teach me how you make this tea because mine never tastes this good”.

“And losing my chance to see you once in a decade?”, the other one chuckled, “Never”, he finished his sentence with a wink.

Giovanni put his mug on the floor, before sitting a little closer to the designer.

“Maybe twice in a decade?”, he asked, only half joking.

The scoff he received made him look up just in time to see the other one inching slowly closer to him. Without even thinking about it too much, he moved as well and kissed him. It was slow, affectionate and tentative: it was full of ifs just like their unusual yet extraordinarily reassuring _ménage_.

They slowly broke the kiss and started staring at each other.

“Can we talk, after the concert?”, the younger man asked, looking at the other one with hope in his eyes.

“Worried to ruin the atmosphere by dumping me, kiddo?”, Nicola half joked, before seeing Giovanni's hurt expression and immediately regretting it, “Sorry, it was dumb. I just needed to cut the tension with some humour”.

“It's okay”, was the answer he received, “Sorry, I should not have said anything”.

Quickly, the young queen stood up and took his mug, before entering the lounge without a word.

“Shit”, Nicola cursed, before entering the lounge as well and looking for the other one.

He found him in the bathroom and managed to enter just before he closed the door.

“Listen, okay?”, the designer said with urgency in his voice, “I'm sorry, it was dumb and I wish I didn't say it. Let me finish”, he noticed that Giovanni was just about to speak, so he quickly continued “The truth is, that it scares me, okay? Because I freaking like you, Giovanni. A lot. Probably too much for my own good. I like you and I am terrified that this is going to end”.

The younger one sat on the bathtub and didn't say a word.

“I am aware that you like him. And I know that _him_ constantly mentioning you isn't helping either. And I know that you are trying to let go. I know it, okay?”, the older man continued ranting, “I know that it hurts, and that you are confused and maybe don't really know how to handle everything. But please _please_ understand me when I tell you that it scares me as well. And that my reaction wasn't appropriate but I could not help it and...”.

Giovanni took advantage of a second of silence to interrupt him.

“I talked to Maxwell”, he murmured, “We talked and I realised that I don't even know him, you know? We were talking and it dawned on me, just like that. It dawned on me that the Maxwell that was sitting in front of me was someone totally different from _my Maxwell_ ”, he scoffed at the last two words, clearly annoyed with himself, “It's so fucking stupid, Nicola. It's stupid because I was literally hanging to that image of him and never took time to realise that it wasn't real. I am so stupid”.

Nicola moved towards the bathtub, before sitting next to him and waiting for the rest.

“I feel so stupid, you know? And scared...”, he murmured, lowering his voice, “Because it took me so little to realise it, once I was standing in front of him. And it took me even less time to trust you and _this_ feels so fucking good that I don't know what could potentially happen, if you were to decide that I am not worth your time. Or your trust”.

They spent the following minutes in complete silence and, for once, it was deafening. They were trying to process what just happened, while struggling to understand it.

Suddenly, Nicola scoffed making the other one jump slightly.

“We are so fucking stupid”, he chuckled, “So stupid, kiddo”, he turned to face Giovanni, while taking his hand, “You are worth every single second, okay? Every single one of them. Understood?”.

The other one sighed, before nodding slowly and trying to stop the tears from coming.

“And I trust you, okay? Because you can be dumb as hell, when you want”, the designer smiled affectionately, while Aquaria was pouting, “ _but_ you are also the smartest kid I have ever met, you are kind and generous and lovable and freaking adorable. And I trust the fact that you would never want to purposefully hurt someone that you care about”.

The younger man nodded, before reaching to hug him tight.

“And I care about you”, he murmured, as if he wanted to seal that moment with a declaration that was also meant as a promise.

The ringing of Nicola's phone made them both jump on the spot, before the designer made his way towards the lounge and answered with a breathless “Hallo”.

Giovanni stood up as well, before joining the other one and smiling at the sight of his excitement.

“It's perfect”, he heard the other one saying, “It's gonna be great, thank you very much!”.

Once the phone call ended, the young queen found himself engulfed in a tight hug that he quickly reciprocated.

“The last piece I was waiting for has just arrived at the studio”, Nicola explained, “We will finally be able to record a video, kiddo”.

“It's gonna be great”, the younger man smiled fondly, before kissing him lightly and deciding to bite the bullet: “Speaking of greatness, what about a bath before the show?”.

  
 

Enigma was everything he could have wished for, Giovanni realised, it was everything he could have wished for and more.  
  
The concert was great, touching to say the least and so incredibly beautiful that he started tearing up at the beginning of “Million Reasons”. Nicola didn't say anything, he simply put a hand around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

Suddenly, Gaga turned to face the VIP section and smiled. Even through all those tears, Giovanni had the distinct feeling that she was smiling _at them_.

“Looks like someone found millions of reasons”, the woman proceeded to singsong, while smiling fondly.

The designer couldn't help it: he started chuckling and joined the rest of the crowd, trying his best to sing the refrain of the song while being horribly off key. Still shell-shocked, the other man looked at Gaga in disbelief.

“Shit”, he murmured, before reaching for Nicola's hand and squeezing it, “You have so much explaining to do, mister”.

 

 **  
Sharon, 1:33 am:** You have so much explaining to do...

Giovanni, was sitting on the bed waiting for Nicola to be done with his shower, when he received that message. Attached to it, there was a screen-recording of someone's Instagram live. The video was taken during the concert and, by the sound of it, Lady Gaga was just about to sing the refrain of “Shallow”. Unexpectedly, the person holding the camera directed it to the crowd and started zooming. In a couple of seconds, the young man saw himself kissing Nicola while holding the other man's face in his hands. He hadn't been tagged, he realised with a sigh, and very few people could recognise him in the frame. The shirt he was wearing was a gift from Sharon, hence why his drag-mother immediately recognise him, but the image was pixelated enough to assure him some privacy. Thank God, he thought to himself.

 **Sharon, 1:35 am:** Are you going to say something?

 **Sharon, 1:36 am:** I am talking to you, pumpkin.

In that exact moment, Nicola came out of the bathroom, freshly showered and smiling.

“Are you okay, kiddo?”, he asked, seeing the other one looking curiously at his phone.

Giovanni smiled at him, before typing something quickly.

 **Aquaria, 1:37 am:** I'll talk to you tomorrow, I promise. Love you!

 **Aquaria, 1:37 am:** I am kinda in a happy, happy place right now btw.

He chuckled at the “mpf” he received as an answer, before putting the phone down and turning to face the other man.

“Everything perfect”, he murmured, then he reached for a kiss, “Just perfect”.

 

_Maybe I just need one good, one to stay  
(Million reasons, Lady Gaga)_

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost there, the end is near my fellow readers. It has been a ride, and a wild one! Trying to depict the incredible yet fascinating nature of love has been challenging but extremely rewarding and hopefully you have enjoyed the story so far. As usual, every commentary, constructive criticism and random observation is more than very welcome. Take care!


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And it's time to wrap it up!  
> Giovanni takes a small trip to memory lane before going for snacks.

_Neve, imparo da te che sai come fare_ __  
_A coprire le nostre distanze_ __  
_A cancellarne anche solo un momento le tracce_  
[Come Neve, Marco Mengoni & Giorgia]

  
(Snow, I learn from you that knows how to do it  
How to cover our distances  
How to erase its traces, even just for a moment)

  
  
Relationships are though, Giovanni thought while checking his Instagram feed.

There were moments when it would have been easier to lash out, driven by his own fears and fuelled by the insane jealousy he sometimes still was the victim of.

_**Nicola, 3:22 pm:** Are you purposefully ignoring me?_

_**Nicola, 3:45 pm:** Giovanni, I am serious._

_**Nicola, 3:45 pm:** Are you okay?_

_**Nicola, 3:58 pm:** Kiddo, I am starting to get worried. Please._

_Giovanni sighed, before typing a quick message._

__**Giovanni, 4:03 pm:** I'm fine, just busy. Text you later  
  
He closed his eyes, trying to collect his thoughts. It was difficult, he realised, more difficult than he thought. 

„ _You are so fucked“, Ty's slightly amused voice startled him._

_The man gave him a sympathetic look, before adding: „Just tell him.“_

_Giovanni nodded, before reading Nicola's last reply._

_**Nicola, 4:05 pm:** Okay._

_He bit his lower lip, before putting his phone away and looking at his friend: „So, what do you think about the mix I gave you?“._

_An hour later, after having said „Goodbye“ to Ty, the young queen was sitting on the sofa, desperately trying to find the right words. He read the text convo once again, before sighing and deciding it was time to bite the bullet._

_**Giovanni, 5:23 pm:** Sorry, I was doing some work _

_**Giovanni, 5:26 pm:** I didn't mean to sound rude. Nor I was purposefully ignoring you. I was just busy and I guess I needed some time to recollect my thoughts, because we all know I can lash out pretty badly. Because it's not your fault if I felt some kind of way about you going to the GLAAD-Gala with Alex. I know the business enough to be aware that it has nothing to do with you or with how much you like me. I promise that I know that. But I felt bad, and scared, insecure, jealous, ugly, not enough. And I know that dumping all this onto you would have been neither fair not mature so I stayed silent. Not because I didn't have anything to say, just because I knew that what I would have said wasn't going to benefit us. _

_**Giovanni, 5:28 pm:** I am sorry if you thought that I was ghosting you, because I was not. I wasn't ready to talk about it, and maybe I'm not there yet. Not 100%, at least. But I will be next time I'll see you, I promise._

_He bit his lower lip, before sending the last message._

„ _And now, let's pray that I didn't fuck it up“, Giovanni murmured._

_A handful of seconds passed, before the young man received a reply to his last string of texts._

_**Nicola, 5:29 pm:** Thanks for telling me that. I am sorry that you felt bad about the Gala, kiddo. And about yourself. We can talk when you're ready, okay? Just know that you have no reasons to be scared and are far from ugly. And that I care about you so much..._

_**Nicola, 5:30 pm:** So fucking much, Giovanni._

_He smiled, before sending one last quick message._

_**Giovanni, 5:32 pm:** Sushi when you're back? _

_**Giovanni, 5:32 pm:** (I care about you too, a whole lotta lot)_

He spent a couple of seconds looking at a group picture that Lola LeCroix posted the day before. Sharon was smiling, hugging Alaska and Willam, clearly happy to perform with her friends. With a sigh, the young man thought back at the moment he tried to explain Aaron what happened.

„ _Well, look who's finally decided to call“._

_Giovanni was sitting in the airport lounge, waiting to board his flight._

„ _I promised“, he answered with a sigh, „You knew I would have called“._

_Aaron cakled, before lowering his voice and asking conspiracionally: „Is he hung?“._

„ _Sharon!“, the other one shrieked comically, „You don't ask people that“, he whispered, clearly embarassed._

_The older man started laughing, before adding: „Well, I wanted to make sure that you are well taken care of, pumpkin“._

_Giovanni sighed, smiling at the memories of the previous night._

„ _You are fucking incredible“, he sighed, but there was no bite to his words._

„ _I know“, Aaron answered and the younger man could picture him prancing in the living room with a cat in his arms, „Are you happy, pumpkin? How did it happen? Why didn't you call?“._

_He giggled, before answering: „I am happy, it kind of just happened and... ahem... it's kind of complicated“._

_The laugh he got as an answer made him smile fondly._

„ _I really am happy, you know?“, the young man murmured, smiling softly, „It's actually kinda weird. And scary“, he mumbled._

„ _It's always like that, kiddo“, Aaron replied, „Just take care of yourself, okay?“_

_The softness in his voice made Giovanni smile fondly._

„ _I will“._

_They spent another couple of minutes on the phone, talking about tourlife, modeling and upcoming projects, before saying goodbye with the promise of properly catching up soon._

„ _Love you, mama“._

„ _Love you too, kiddo. Please, be careful“._

The vibration of his phone startled Giovanni. He quickly closed his Instagram feed to read the message he just received.

 **Miz Cracker, 3:32 pm:** Just got there. If he bails, I'll personally held you accountable.

The young man smiled, thinking about Maxwell's recent attempts at dating. They talked a lot on the phone and even managed to meet for coffee on an almost regular basis. While on tour, they facetimed and had an energy drink while catching up.

Having an honest conversation with the older man had been difficult at the beginning. Trying to push all the embarassment and the awkwardness on the side turned out to be more challenging than expected but incredibly rewarding at the same time.

_They were in Los Angeles,ready to perform for a benefit._

_Maxwell was fidgeting with his phone, trying to decide wheter he should change his lipcolour or not, when Giovanni entered the room, already in drag._

„ _Good evening ladies“, he smiled at the people in the room, before noticing the empty spot next to his season 10 sister and nodding in his direction._

_He put his bag on the counter, took a small makeup bag out and checked his lipstick one last time._

„ _Stop looking at yourself, Evil Queen“, Cracker joked, before grabbing his pink lipstick and applying it once again._

_The other one smiled, before chuckling and sitting next to him._

„ _How have you been?“, he asked, before turning to check his phone and smiling softly at the screen._

„ _Not as good as you, it seems“, Maxwell tried to deflect the younger one's attention, „I saw you were in Vegas having a good time, two weeks ago“._

_Giovanni nodded, before putting his phone away and checking on his wig._

„ _Yeah, it was nice“, he tried to downplay it, not sure wether it was appropriate or not to bring Nicola into this._

_The raised eyebrow and the amused expression that he saw reflected on the mirror was enough to make him giggle and correct himself: „Okay, it was fucking amazing. Like words can not even describe it. What about you?“._

_Maxwell shrugged, then he replied: „Nothing new. One woman show, work, Katelyn, dogs“._

_The other one nodded._

„ _Seems like a good program to me“, he replied, „Do you already know when you are going to premiere it?“._

_They were interrupted by none other than Kameron Michaels, flown out to surprise the crowd and the fellow queens. The Nashville-Queen immediately approached them and started chatting with Cracker, evidently excited to see the friend after a long time. With a smile, Giovanni checked on his wig and moved away from the vanity, leaving the other two to their devices._

„ _You two haven't talked, right?“, Katelyn's voice made him startle._

_The young man sighed, before answering: „Nope. I was thinking about bringing it up tonight but he's busy. I don't want to distract him or whatnot. Also, it could get awkward“, he mumbled, looking at his two friends laughing together completely unaware of what was happening._

„ _Worst than how it used to be?“, Maxwell's assistent asked, without losing her sweet voice._

„ _I guess you have a point“, Giovanni murmured, before turning to smile at her, „Thanks, Katelyn“._

_When he went to take his phone to check the time, Kameron shove him lightly._

„ _Where did you go?“, he asked, „We thought you were gone without us“, he finished, trying to fake tears and despair._

_The younger man looked at him for a second, deliberately taking his time, before chuckling: „Yeah, you surely look desperate“._

_The subtle shade made Cracker laugh out loud, quickly joined by the other two._

_After the show, Kameron quickly made his way to the exit, followed by another man, and Giovanni decided to bite the bullet._

„ _Katelyn and I had a little talk, while you were asleep“, he said while Maxwell was wiping off his makeup._

_The other one sighed, then he murmured a weak: „I know“ that made the younger man smile affectionately._

„ _According to Kevin I am oblivious to the most obvious things, you know?“, he chuckled, before noticing the mournful expression on the older one's face._

„ _Maxwell...“, he tried, before realising he didn't know what to say, „I'm sorry...“._

_Cracker turned to face him and chuckled dryly._

„ _Sorry for what? For being happy?“, he stood up, before hugging the other one briefly and murmuring: „You deserve it“._

_Noticing that Giovanni was ready to tell him something, he then added: „I don't think I am ready to talk about it just yet. Can we put it on hold, without our friendship getting awkward again?“._

_The smile he received as an answer was just the „yes“ he needed._

„What are you smiling at, kiddo?“.

Giovanni jumped slightly, before putting his phone in his pocket and smiling at Nicola.

The designer just wrapped up a fashion transformation with Indya Moore and stayed long enough to help pack the equipment and check the footage one last time.

„Nothing“, he murmured, before standing up and going for a kiss on the cheeck, „Just memories“.

The other one nodded slightly, before wrapping an arm aroud his waist.

„I was thinking we could watch a movie, if you don't have plans with your friends tonight“, he suggested with a kind smile.

„Only if I get to pick at least one snack on the way home“, Giovanni answered, before moving forward and kissing the older man, „Pretty please“.

Nicola chuckled, before tightening the embrace and kissing him back.

„You had me at home“.

 

 _You make a fool of death with your beauty,_  
_And for a moment I forget to worry_  
_[Florence + The Machine, Hunger]_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's a wrap, folks! I hope you enjoyed this crazy and maybe unexpected ride as much as I enjoyed writing it. It was challenging but extremely rewarding, you know? Also: it was a good way of putting out there a different kind of love-story, one about false expectations and unexpected truths, about moments that take you by surprise and emotions that can be found in hopeless places. Okay, I'll stop right here, before enflating my ego some more! ;-)  
> To all the readers, reviewers and kudo-ers: THANK YOU. I really appreciate every single one of you and I'll be forever grateful. Take care, lovelies! I might be back soon, who knows?


End file.
